Out with the birds

Well, I had my date with the bird man today and it was . . . meh. Nothing clicked, I wasn't attracted to him. He was a nice person, but he was definitely nerdier than I had originally thought and we didn't really share many of the same interests. That will definitely be the only date, considering I sat in the park after we finished eating our sandwiches and kept thinking, When will this be over? What time is it? How much longer do I have to sit here and talk about nothing?

There's nothing doing, and I can finally say with certainty that my online dating days are finally over. Yay! It was interesting, though, that he kept asking me about my experience online or if I'd met many guys online. Same as last date with a guy I met on the Web site. And he also touched on some first date no-nos, like talking about previous girls he'd dated and even mentioning that one dating site had rejected him. Not really things you want to share with someone you might want to date.

His peregrine falcon, on the other hand, was beautiful. When he took the cap off the bird's head, I could see her big beautiful eyes. She couldn't fly yet, but she was lively enough biting bark on the ground and even at one point attacking my bare feet.

I was surprised, though, that my friends actually showed up. Before the bird man got there, I was sitting in the park reading a book when they walked by. They called out to me, since they didn't see him yet, and so we chatted for a while. He'd called earlier to say he'd be half an hour late. More like an hour, but anyway, we talked until he called to say he was there. So they went and hid behind a bush close by. I got a picture of them 'hiding.' Those girls make me laugh. I feel bad, though, since the bird man and I went to Subway to get food soon after he arrived. When I was getting into his truck, though, I could see them playing spy, running stealthily and hiding behind trees. One of them even waved at me when bird man's back was turned for a second. I just feel bad for my friends that, after waiting half an hour to see us on our date, we left so quickly. But it still makes me laugh.

So that's the story of my was my not terribly interesting date.

And hilarity ensues

I had a hilarious night, well, pretty much the whole day, with the girls from work. They are all so much fun. I don't know how I lucked out by getting such great people to work with that they're also my friends.

A funny thing that happened at work today involves our summer intern. She is such a random person, but I like to think of her as our comic relief. Well, anyway, I saw her sitting in her chair this afternoon with several orange streaks running down her face. I didn't know what to think, so I asked her, "Are you sick? No, because your face looks a little odd." Everyone else had to take a look to see what was going on, and the laughter started up immediately. I convinced her to go look in a mirror, and then she started laughing too. I was almost crying by that point, I was laughing so hard.

She couldn't think of how they got there. I had originally thought she and another girl had gotten in a marker fight or something, but that wasn't the case. After thinking about it for a few minutes, she realized that she had leaned up against the sliding door of my new cloffice and somehow there was orange there that rubbed off all over her face. She washed it off, sadly before I thought to take a picture, but honestly, it was Friday and I found it so hard to concentrate on work after that.

This evening, the hilarity continued as I was describing my date for tomorrow. Since his picture and profile are online, we obviously had to go find it so everyone could see the bird man. Then we started looking at other profiles on there and *cough* discussing them. Pretty much we were mocking most of them, but it was so easy to mock. One of our favorites said, "If you're looking for adventure, you'd better search somewhere else." Another classic was the man who proudly touted the fact that he could kill at playing the Kevin Bacon name game. Sadly, we'd been discussing that exact thing earlier during our pie break at work. We couldn't stop laughing.

And the outcome of all this? Several of the girls are now planning to crash my date tomorrow. I just pray I don't see them, because I don't know if I could control my laughter. They promise to stay out of the way, but who knows what will happen. Well, as long as I get a good story out of it.
And, by the way, Miss Potter is an excellent movie that I highly recommend. It was interesting to watch it with a bunch of book editors and hear our comments on the movie pertaining to authors and printing. All in all, it was a good night.

Potpourri

I'm all about things that smell nice, but the title of this post refers to a "miscellaneous collection" as Mr. Webster says, which is basically what my thoughts are tonight. And I've included a random picture of flowers just because I want to.

To start off, I have neglected to blog about my beautiful new cloffice at work. That's what we've decided to call my new closet/office. When they hired me, they didn't have anywhere to put me, so while other people have been out on sick leave or leave of absences, I've been squatting in their offices.

Soon a few weeks after I started work, they started construction on the space underneath the staircase leading to the "loft" where I worked for 6 weeks. And then this week they let me know it was finished and I could move in. Fortunately they're good about providing supplies, though not for space. They really need to either expand the barn or build an additional workspace because we're almost all in really cramped quarters. But at least I have my own space now, where I can put things how I like and put up pictures and such. They even said I could paint, if I wanted to, but I can't imagine wanting to put in all that effort or time. For now, this is great. I'll have to take pictures later that I can post. Then you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.

In other news, my hummus wasn't actually as bad as I originally thought it. Sitting in the fridge did it good. There's still too much tahini, but that isn't as noticeable when eaten on pita bread. So my recipe is in good order, with a few modifications, that is.

On a completely unrelated topic, my grandma is doing better, according to family members. And she's had quite a few visitors at the hospital, so I don't feel as guilty about not visiting.

Changing subjects again, I finally talked to the bird man and we set a date for this Saturday. It should be interesting, and maybe even a good thing if it all works out well. But I was surprised by his voice. Not what I expected at all, though I could detect a hint of his Southern accent. To tell the truth, I'm not sure what I was expecting, it just wasn't what I heard. More news to come on this subject.

Oh, and one more random thing. My plans for tomorrow night include a movie night with the girls I work with to watch "Miss Potter." It should be a lot of fun since I get along with all of them so well. You know, I really have been so blessed the past few months. I have a great job I love with people I really like. It finally feels like I've found where I belong. Now if only I could find a great apartment and have fun dating, things would be perfect. As it is, life ain't half bad.

Ooh! I almost forgot. But how could I forget this? It's such a lovely gift Shelly at This Eclectic Life gave me. She saw my things to do before I die list yesterday and decided to give me a jump start. She found these flowers growing in her yard and decided to name them after me. Aren't they so pretty? (And I promise I didn't intentionally steal the title of her post. It must have been subliminal, I swear.)

TT 13 Thirteen things to do before I die

Well, after my adventures with creating my own recipes, which is part of my endless list of goals, I thought I'd continue in that vein and list the

Thirteen things I want to do before I die.

1…. Go skydiving. This desire was somewhat tempered after my brother fell out a plane during Airborne training and got caught up in another parachuters chute, making both of them plummet to the ground. They survived, miraculously, when the other guy got his emergency chute to deploy. I still want to go, but I'll just have to be very careful when I do it.

2…. Perfect my salsa and hummus recipes, as well as any other I can think up. I've been thinking about the perfect guacamole recipe too. Hmm. . .

3…. Become a published author. This has been a dream in the making, and I might be able to do it. . . if I could finish my novel in progress, which, by the way, you can read the first part of here.

4…. Travel around the world, though not necessarily in one trip. There are so many places to see. My first stop: Paris.

5…. Buy and decorate my perfect house. This also includes having the perfect garden. Working for a book publisher that specializes in interior design and garden books add a lot of fuel to my imagination

6…. Learn to tread water. The whole fear of drowning thing does a lot to hamper this ability. I can swim a little, though I always freak out when I'm only surrounded by water and don't have anything to hold onto. This may be one goal I don't completely accomplish, but it won't be for not trying.

7…. Have something named after me, like a flower or a star. After editing a book about gardens and reading all the names of cultivated roses, many of which are named after specific people, I thought it'd be nice to have something that beautiful named after me. Maybe I just need to date a gardener or astronomer.

8…. Visit all 50 states--only 9 left to go. (We traveled a lot when I was younger, all of it in a car. You see a lot of land that way.)

9…. Spend a week at a day spa. That just sounds delicious.

10…. Learn how to really take excellent photos. This would probably include taking a photography class where they show me exactly how to use my SLR. That and a lot of practice.

11…. Raise a flower or plant from a seed without killing it. What can I say, I have a red thumb.

12…. Write a cookbook filled with my own recipes. After editing cookbooks all day long I got the crazy idea that I could do that myself. I never really thought of it before, but it would be a lot of fun, especially the taste-testing part. And besides, number 2 on the list will help with that.

13…. Give birth. Well, that and the whole pregnancy thing. I'm excited for the time when I'll actually get to be a mom. Now all I need to do is find me a good man. That could take a while.

Experimental learning

Well, I tried my hummus recipe out, and not having done it before, wasn't sure what to expect. First lesson learned: Blenders don't work so well, or at least mine didn't. Most recipes I read indicate a food processor should be used, and there's probably good reason for that. Second lesson: Tahini has a very strong flavor, so don't use much of it. I still have some of the aftertaste in my mouth.

That said, it wasn't a complete failure. I was able to salvage it by adding some basil which did a lot to counteract the tahini and salt, since I put a little too much of that in too. It is also pretty runny since I kept adding liquid to get the blender to even mix up the garbanzo beans. So I think that in order to make a really good hummus, I need a food processor. It might be awhile before I perfect this recipe, but I'm not worried. Sometime before I die I'll have it down pat.

To change topics completely, my dad told me last night that my grandma had a stroke and is in the hospital. I was a little out of it at the time, it being 2:30 in the morning at the time. I guess he left right then to take her to the hospital, but I'm a little confused on the point since he would have had to drive 3 hours to her house, 2 hours back to the hospital and then drive home an hour. And she lives with other relatives who could have driven her.

I don't know details yet, since he and my stepmom went to see her right after work. They invited me to go along, but I really didn't want to go. I hate visiting people in the hospital. I've never liked them and honestly, if it's her time to go, I'd rather remember how she has always been and not how they are just before they die. Maybe I'm just being selfish. I probably am, but for some reason I couldn't make myself go tonight. So I'll hear how everything is when they get home.

Group date

So, the guy I'd been e-mailing this past month (yes, the one I met online) told me he wants to meet since he'll be in my area on Saturday afternoon. He thought lunch in the park might be nice. Sounds great, right?

Well, there is one little thing, which he has mentioned, but I'm not completely sure how I feel about. He has a falcon, which is still young so he has to take it with him wherever he goes, including first dates. So it will be more like a group date. Three's company, right? I don't mind think I mind that too much seeing as I'd like to see the bird, but the thing is, he has mentioned that every time he goes somewhere people are always asking him about his bird and looking at him differently. I'm not terribly sure that's the best way to get to know someone, especially if kids keep interrupting and asking to pet it while you're trying to have a conversation.

I probably should just call him and tell him, "Yeah, that sounds great!" and not let my imagination run wild even before I meet the guy. He sounds pretty normal, other than having a high-maintenance pet. Who knows if it will even go anywhere, but I should at least give it a shot. Maybe it will turn into something, maybe it won't, but at least I'll have an interesting story to share later.

Distractions

I really was planning on posting tonight, but it's just too easy to go off on a tangent on the Internet. There are too many interesting things to read.

But anyway, after my adventure with creating my own salsa recipe, I've decided to branch out and try crafting other recipes. My next effort will be hummus. Mmmm. . . I'll let you know how that turns out.

Home-made salsa, part 1

One of the goals I've set for myself to complete before I die is to make the perfect salsa. Now, I understand that can be fairly subjective since people have different preferences and tastes, so this will be my perfect salsa. I can't find anywhere in stores where they sell a smooth salsa. Most of them are chunky and proclaim that fact with gusto. So if I want a salsa I truly enjoy, it'll have to be one I create.

On that thought, I decided today that I might as well start working on my perfect salsa. I'd never made any before but I knew what I wanted it to be: smooth and thick, not runny, with plenty of lime and cilantro, and without onions or peppers.

This is just my starter recipe and will change each time I make it until it has been perfected. It may take a while, but I'm sure each effort will taste a little bit better than the last, though this batch was fairly tasty and very addicting. Beginner's luck, I'm sure.

So here's what I came up with:

4 Roma tomatoes

2 tomatillos

1 (6-ounce) can tomato paste

3 tablespoons cilantro, stems and leaves

2 teaspoons chopped, seeded jalapeno

2 cloves garlic

1/4 teaspoon onion powder

Juice of 1/2 lime

1 teaspoon salt

Few grinds pepper

1/4 teaspoon sugar

1 tablespoon olive oil

Peel tomatoes by dropping them in boiling water for 1 minute, and then plunging into a bowl of cold water. Skins should slide right off. Cut out stem part, quarter, and place in blender. Blend tomatoes until smooth. Add tomatillos and rest of ingredients, one at a time, blending well after each addition. (With the jalapenos, use gloves while cutting and don't touch your eyes or they will burn terribly. Also, the seeds are the hottest part, so add them or leave them out depending on how spicy you want it.) Pour salsa into saucepan and cook over medium heat, about 10 minutes, or until sauce thickens slightly.

For next time, I think I'll leave out the oil, sugar and tomato paste. Unfortunately, it had a little too much flavor of the paste. So instead I'll add more tomatoes and tomatillos, probably 2 more of each, add some more cilantro and maybe some more lime juice, about a whole lime instead of just half. It also didn't taste at all like I put in jalapeno, so definitely more of that, maybe 2 tablespoons.

I'd love to hear suggestions on how to improve my salsa since this was my first effort. You're welcome to try the recipe and tell me what you did to make it better.

This is the first time I've tried to create my own recipe from scratch. (Well, I did look in other cookbooks for ideas of how much of each ingredient to add, but it was definitely my own creation.) Editing cookbooks all day long has given me the idea to start writing down what I create so that maybe one day I'll be able to publish my own cookbook.

TT 12 Diets I'm not about to try

I'm not overweight, by any means, but in the past few I've noticed my waist and stomach have gotten bigger than I want them to be. And seeing as exercise isn't my favorite pastime--I'd much rather do anything else, really--I've pondered different ways I could lose some of that extra tonnage I'm carrying around. And the biggest thing I've found is that most diets or ways to lose weight just wouldn't work for me. So for my TT, I bring you:

Thirteen diets I'm not about to try.

1…. Green tea. In any of it's many forms. I've heard people swear by it, but with all the caffeine in there, I doubt I'd ever sleep if I took that. And right on the package it warns: Do not take if you are anxious. Nope, not for me.

2…. Atkins. My sister tried this one, per her doctor's orders several years ago and tried to convince me to do it with her. That was a big no. Anything that touts miracles by cutting out essential foods has some problems with it. Hello, heart failure. My sister didn't last, mainly because she refuses meat. What was her doctor thinking?

3…. Hollywood diet. Okay, to start, anything with the name Hollywood in it has red flags flying already. When has anyone in Hollywood been a good example of anything? And besides, living off fruit juice isn't healthy either.

4…. Weight Watchers. Just to dang complicated. If I have to count before I eat, that's a major turn off for me. Besides, I'm terrible at math. It's also out of my price range since they require you to buy a whole lot of stuff to join.

5…. Diet pills. These over-the-counter beauties are the staple for girls with eating disorders. If that doesn't scare you off, I don't know what will.

6…. Anorexia. Nope, couldn't do it. I enjoy eating too much to ever stop doing it. Starving yourself, even for a few days, equals big issues. I have enough without that to worry about.

7…. Bulimia. On a similar note, throwing up to stay skinny? I do anything I can to keep from vomiting. Why would I do that intentionally?

8…. Standing out in the cold in the middle of winter to 'shiver' off the pounds. This is actually a strategy I've heard girls have used to drop a dress size or two before prom. I couldn't believe it when I heard it. Can you say 'frostbite'?

9…. Laxatives. Eww. Making yourself sick intentionally has never been smart. Especially to lose weight.

10…. Hoodia. Another of the stimulants. Hey, it may work, but I'm not about to pump myself full of caffeine and similar substances.

11…. Eating only one 'miracle' food to lose weight. It's been around in various forms for years: peaches, carrots, watermelon, etc. But without balance, it can harm your body, like the woman my mom knew whose skin turned orange from only eating carrots.

12…. Olive oil diet. I can't remember the name, but one man wrote a book touting a diet that would slough off the pounds by drinking sugar water or olive oil instead of eating two meals of the three meals a day. Not only is it weird, but I really doubt you'd get all your nutrients that way.

13…. Slim Fast. I've tried the shakes and not once has one of those suckers filled me up.

Disclaimer: I understand that people who have eating disorders have serious problems and it is a serious issue for many women. I'm not mocking them or their pain, just discussing the various forms of weight loss I would never consider doing.

Inspired

After a long absence, I was finally able to sit down and start writing again. I'd put off working on my book until things had calmed down a bit with work and everything else, but I think I'm ready to pick up the pen, or keyboard, though that doesn't sound nearly as eloquent, but whatever the case may be, I ready to plug away at it again.

I just hope my new-found source of inspiration or muse or whatever it is doesn't quit me too soon. It's nice to feel productive in the evenings. After putting in long day at work I often want to relax, but somehow when I really get to writing and I just don't want to stop, there's something even more refreshing. Maybe it's the excitement of getting words on paper that actually sound good. But even when it all sounds like crap, at least I'm pushing forward, which will lead me somewhere eventually.

So the good news is that I finally feel like I'm back. Life is going well and I'm starting to enjoy work for the sake of working. It's not nearly as stressful at work now and I'm understanding the whole process a book has to go through from start to finish, and, more importantly, my role in the whole process.

As a side note, I decided I should go visit my sister who lives in Washington. I'll have four days there, enough time to explore the little island where she lives and a day to play in Seattle. And it'll be good to catch up with my sister, though I did see her in March. But, hey, any excuse to travel is one I'll take. (The photos were taken during my last trip to visit my sister 2 years ago. Now you can understand why I'm excited to go for a visit. It's absolutely gorgeous up there.)

Dead

My plant is dead. I killed it. I'm not even sure how. My dad thinks I may have watered it too much and my stepmom thinks I may have rotted the roots. Whatever the case may be, I'm a murderer.


I love flowers, I always have. I love smelling their sweet perfume as I kneel beside them. I love the vibrant color and vivacity they bring to a home or yard. The problem is that no matter what I do, I end up killing them. Even cacti. I had a hot pink one as a child that I watered too much. The little baby cacti squished and water squirted out all over the place when I touched them. I vowed not to try again.


Then I got the brilliant idea to paint a pot and put a beautiful primrose in it while I went away to college. School got busy and I neglected it. It didn't survive long.


In this last attempt I promised myself I wouldn't let it die. Within a day of bringing it home, the flowers were withering and wilting. It only lasted two weeks at most.


Am I so evil? Are my looks enough to kill? Do flowers wilt in my presence like some dastardly villain in a Disney movie?


I don't know what my problem is. Flowers grow well enough in the wild, with no one to take care of them. Even in the desert, with hardly any water and the sun beating down on them day after day, they flourish. Yet under my hand all they find is death.


Maybe I'll try again someday. I just feel guilty every time I bring a plant home and promise it a bright future only to kill it through neglect or by trying too hard.


All I want is a beautiful garden filled with glorious buds and flowers for me to look at and smell. I think I either need to marry a man who loves gardening or one who has a very large pocketbook so we can hire a gardener. It's the only hope I have left.

Dreams to dream

While analyzing my dreams from last night, which I won't go into since they were so bizarre and involved saving the world from an evil man and his henchmen by playing board games and being kept from drowning by a whale and other animals I could talk to, I realized how fearful I am of the fleetingness of life and of living in the moment.

I know it may seem like a big, long stretch to come away with those interpretations, but there were a lot of elements in the dreams that related to fear and anxiety I have in my everyday life. And pondering those things I came up with the conclusion that I fear losing the past and worrying too much about the future.

Every day I tell myself to live here, now and not worry about the past or the future: one is gone and the other will take care of itself as long as I'm making the right choices this moment. But, honestly, I'm afraid to try. As I mentioned previously, when I go places, I have my camera glued to my eye so I don't miss a great photo op. I'm so worried about taking pictures to capture those memories for the future that I forget to actually enjoy those memories in that instant.

I think part of me is afraid that if I don't capture every moment permanently, like with a photograph, all of it will pass me by and I'll have nothing to hold on to later. I've even noticed lately that many of my cherished memories seem dimmer as I age. It's probably natural, but the more time that passes, the softer the edges become until it's only a memory of a memory anymore.

And on the other side, I'm getting to the point again where I'd rather sit and daydream than actually live my life. My images of the future look so bright inside my head, I'd rather think of that than work to make my life as pleasant as I dream it could be.

I'm trying to live in the past and in the future simultaneously while doing my best to skip over the present. Much of that is because I'm so dissatisfied with my life right now. Nothing's really wrong, but neither does it seem right. I'm stuck in a limbo of my own making as I wait for things to get back to where they were before. But as one of my favorite songs says, "We can never go back to before." We have to keep moving forward. That is the only way to go in life.

I need to find a way to start healing myself and coming to like who I am again. I've been there before, and I want that again.

To get there, I have to rid myself of these fears and anxieties that halt me in my progression. I'm so afraid of ruining my life that I stop taking any action. Instead it's all reaction based on fear. That's no way to live.

And why do I fear the present so much? I fear responsibility, of too much being asked of me to doom me to failure. I fear never fulfilling my dreams and my goals, so I don't even try to achieve them. I fear never finding love, so I closet myself in my room so I don't have to feel rejection and pain. I fear living the life I've always wanted, because then what will I have to look forward to once all my dreams become real?

These fears are all irrational and stupid, I know, but getting my brain to see this can be quite a task. It'll take time to work through all things issues I have before I can feel whole again. But recognizing fear is the first step toward overcoming it. And I'm taking that first trembling, frightened step now.

Writing in circles

This post will mainly be random things I did/thought about today. As if every post weren't like that. But it will start with a photo of some chalk artists and eventually get there again at the end.

While sitting at work I decided that I wanted to bite the bullet and buy myself a Mac Book. I really like using with Macs at work; they're so much nicer and easier to use. I don't know why I didn't switch long before this (probably because I didn't use them much before this) but I really want a Mac to use at home as well. Then maybe I won't have to use the dinosaur I'm on right now.

So I went down to the Mac store, which also happens to be in my favorite shopping center, but more on that in a minute. I got all my questions answered and realized this sucker is going to cost me a lot of money. $2,000 for the laptop, $350 for the extended warranty (let's face it, I break things very quickly and easily), $150 just to get Word and other Microsoft programs, $50 for a mouse. . . And that doesn't even start to consider extra programs like Photoshop or InDesign or Quark, all of which I'll eventually want to acquire. Now I'm thinking this might be a save for it now and buy the whole thing later.

The reason this all came up is while working (I'll admit, my mind sometimes wanders at work, especially on Fridays) I thought about how I really need to get myself going on my writing projects again. But lately I haven't felt much like writing in my bedroom where the computer is, so I want a computer I can lug around with me so I can get everything down when I'm actually feeling inspired in an inspiring place.

So, yeah, I need to save money instead of buying clothes. Shoot! Okay, no more spending money on clothes starting tomorrow. But at least on my last shopping trip for a while I got some good deals on solid color tees, which is pretty much all I wear. I'm a simple girl, at least when it comes to my clothes. I like the less-is-more school of design.

During my little shopping trip, I didn't just get useful information and cute shirts, I also looked around at a chalk art festival they were having down the center street of the shopping center. None of the artists had completed their masterpieces yet, but some of them you could tell were really good. I took some pics, but they don't do them justice. There's one in particular, at left, where the artists made it look so realistic. You can't really see it well, but in the upper right corner one person is drawing a face that is shaded so perfectly. It's absolutely beautiful.

So after such an eventful evening I feel well-rounded. Just like my story.

I have (green) blood on my hands

Wow, I'm tired. I had a good day, though. It was my work party this evening, which means they let us off work at 3:00 so we could go to the local (small) waterpark. In the company of several of my fellow co-workers, who are also female, single and about my age, I went down the tube run and waterslides who knows how many times. Then we had a nice barbecue dinner and a game of miniature golf to round it off. All in all a pleasant evening, especially since I get along with those girls really well. We're already planning our next excursion: a small town about an hour away from us is having a Scottish festival. I've been before and it's so much fun, so I invited the girls to come with me in 3 weeks.

Oh, and sad news. When I returned home this evening I found my pretty little plant completely wilted. I definitely don't have a soft touch when it comes to plants or flowers; generally, well, pretty much always, I end up killing them, even when I try really hard. So I think, to save a life, I've going to have to turn it over to my dad or my stepmom for intervention. I only hope it'll be in time. I kept watering it. Maybe not enough, but it didn't die of thirst, I'm sure of that. It also needs direct sunlight, which it probably isn't getting in my room, so I put it outside to see if that will help. Poor thing. It was so nice and pretty with such beautiful blue flowers when I bought it, but it was downhill from the start. I thought I'd put it in my room to brighten it up. The poor thing probably thought it was going to get a nice home, and then I take it home and murder it. I did put it in a pretty yellow pot and tried to be nice to it. Maybe I don't know what my plant wants. I think I have a red thumb--the exact opposite of green and the color of blood, which is what I have on my hands. Poor plant. I hope it lives. It just looks so sad and wilty.

TT 11 Places where you'll find me reading

While sitting in the bathtub reading last week, I thought about all the bizarre places I find to read. Well, some of these aren't terribly bizarre, but I can find some pretty interesting places to crack open a book.

1…. The tub. As previously mentioned, this is one place I like to relax with a book. Hint: Make sure you don't get the book wet. Especially if it's from the library.

2…. In the park. It's rather peaceful when no one else is around. Just the birds and the insects to keep you company, though I'd rather have less company from the insects.

3…. In the car. I actually get carsick, so no reading on the road. But I like to pull out a book if I'm a few minutes early getting somewhere. Slide back the seat and enjoy.

4…. In the bathroom. Don't tell me you haven't done it. It's okay, everyone's done it at one point or another. As a kid I'd spend hours in there with a book, but that could also be because I was trying to get out of doing chores.

5…. Lying on the floor. Carpeted, of course. It'd be a little too hard, otherwise. But it's strangely comforting to lie there on the floor with a good book in hand.

6…. In front of the TV. I don't do this one as much anymore, but when I was younger, you'd often find me in the TV room absorbed in my book. I was rather proud of my ability to tune all the noise out. It's also a way to multitask when commercials are on, but with Tivo no one bothers with those anymore.

7…. In bed. That's usually where you'll find me curled up with a good read. Don't expect me to answer if you find me like this; I'm probably too involved to hear you.

8…. At work. It helps that I'm a book editor. Reading is what I get paid to do. Isn't life grand?

9…. While walking. Not recommended unless it's a straight shot and there are no obstacles in your way (especially ceiling beams). On the way home from elementary school, we had a long, straight sidewalk. I perfected the art of walking and reading at the same time--without bodily injury.

10…. In the bookstore. You've got to test your books out a little before buying, right? I do, often sitting in the isle as people walk past. It must really look strange.

11…. At the doctor's office. Bringing your own book is so much better than wading through the pregnancy/family/outdoors magazines.

12…. On my porch. We've got a nice little setup with chairs and a table that is perfect for reading in the morning or evening, right when it's perfectly cool. Reading with a view. Glorious.

13…. Anywhere I can. Pretty much, I like to read, and any time I can I'll whip out the book and get through the next chapter. I can make do just about anywhere.

#%!%# insurance

I hate insurance companies. They're all evil bloodsuckers who should be prosecuted for theft. Robbing me blind of all my hard-earned money, what little of it I have, that is.

I promise, I'm not usually this bitter (she tells herself while heads around the world are nodding, 'yeah, right'). It's just that I had to fill out the paperwork for health insurance, right after cutting a check for COBRA. They're all trying to make sure I end up in the poor house, if they even give me insurance, that is.

After reviewing the paperwork with my dad, he informs me that my company is really cheap and doesn't have standard group insurance, so this means the insurance company can reject me if they want. And I don't have the best health in the world, so it's a possibility. But if I didn't tell them about something, they could come back after some big medical event and deny coverage for 'lying' on my application. What in the world are honest people supposed to do? It's a two-edged sword where if you really need insurance, it's impossible to get, but if you're healthy, you don't actually need it and yet they still rip you off with all their premiums.

So this leads me back to the insurance companies being filled with lying, cheating scumbags who want to take our money but won't spend any of it on you if they can help it.

The other day, after changing my auto insurance, I got called for a survey. My insurance company was sponsoring it, which they neglected to mention until well into the stupid thing. Of course it's impartial. Uh huh. Anyway, one question they asked was, "Do you feel like your insurance company is looking out for your best interest or their own?" And the obvious answer kids? Of course they're trying to line their own pockets.

The man doing the survey actually seemed surprised that I said that. At least until I told him, "That's what all insurance companies do." I tend to think he agreed with me, even though he wasn't allowed to say so.

So the moral of this story is that insurance companies suck, but no matter how much we hate them, we still need them. Boy, have they got us all suckered.

Rambling, rambling

It's amazing I'm even able to post today. The Internet has been down for the past two days and the power was out at my house for upwards of 5 hours today. My blogging karma must really be taking a hit at the moment.

Honestly, not much is happening in my life at the moment, but I've been pretty involved in two things this week.

The first was a book I bought (yes, I am actually reading something I bought. Check one book off the to-read list.) and I'm so glad I found it. The book is I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith. She's most known for her book-turned-Disney-classic 101 Dalmatians. This story involves a 17-year-old girl and her family who live in a rundown castle in England. The author did such an amazing job of capturing the characters in the book. It is told from her perspective as she writes in her journals.

It was such a good read that I couldn't put it down and thus was really tired when I went to work this week. I love reading through the night, but it kills me now that I have a new job with a (relatively) early start time. I must learn self-control, but when good book comes along, my control flies out the window.

The other time snatcher this week is the next season in my current favorite BBC show Monarch of the Glen. I watched 7 hour-long episodes in a row last night. And it felt great doing it. Not having my family in town is nice, at least when it comes to being messy and lazy and not worrying about any guilt trips.

Honestly, lazing about this week was much more relaxing than the massage, facial and pedicure I did earlier in the week. I've never figured out how to stop my brain from thinking, especially when trying to relax. So for me, keeping my brain occupied in a stress-free environment is much more relaxing than trying to force myself to clear my mind.

A lot of rambling thoughts, I know, but that is how my week has been--all over the place.

TT 10 Chick flicks to curl up with

I'm not feeling particularly creative tonight, so I thought I'd go for a TT staple list this week: Thirteen chick flicks sure to be warmth to your heart and bring tears to your eyes. Yes, I know it's cheesy, but so are some of my picks. You gotta love 'em. 1…. Pride and Prejudice. I've seen them all and love each of them for their own special reasons. But the one thing in common? Mr. Darcy is always really good looking. Way to go, eye candy! 2…. Ever After. Cinderella with spunk. Honestly, who needs a prince to save you when you can bust out of slavery on your own? True, but it's always nice to have him offer. 3…. Notting Hill. Hugh Grant may be a jerk in real life, but she so dorky cute you can't help but sigh when he gets the girl. 4…. A Knight's Tale. Heath Ledger. Mmm. Curly blond hair gets me every time. 5…. Jane Eyre (BBC version). Mr. Rochester played by none other than James Bond? What's not to love. Added bonus: Jane has guts and can carry her own. 6…. The Prince and Me. It may corny, maybe because they really should have picked a better title, but the romance is great. And what girl hasn't dreamed of falling in love with a prince in disguise? 7…. Ella Enchanted. If you're sensing a princess/fairy tale trend, it's probably because I love them. Old or new, original or remake, they're all great. As is Hugh Dancy. It's the curly hair again. And the accent. 8…. Sliding Doors. Gwyneth Paltrow really does have a good British accent, though I can hear the American slip through every once in a while. A great story. 9…. Mansfield Park. A very stylish adaption of another Jane Austen book. Can you tell I'm a fan? 10…. Practical Magic. I think Sandra Bullock is a great actress as well as being beautiful. I love how they weave the story together. Plus the book was written by Alice Hoffman, a great writer. 11…. Possession. Several of my favorite actors all in one place. And it's got two wonderful love stories from different time periods mixed together. 12…. Never Been Kissed. I really like that Drew Barrymore plays a copy editor. A woman after my own heart. Plus her romantic interest is nice to look at. 13…. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Not technically a romance, but the last 30 minutes will get you. Orlando Bloom at the end, wow. Even my friends who don't think he's good looking were dumbstruck by how great he looks at the end. Worth watching the movie just to see that. And, as always, I'd love to hear what movies/chick flicks you like. I'm always looking for a new fave to add to the list.

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Alone

I could never live alone. Not for an extended period of time, that is. At the moment my parental units are driving their way to San Francisco, so that leaves me here with the dog and my brother, who is more absent than not.

From past experience I've learned that having the house all to yourself is great during the day. Do whatever you want, no one's there to bother you. But at night, that's a different matter.

I've always been one to startle easy, and to jump at shadows or pretty much anything my imagination throws at me. I'm sure it's rather humorous to watch me. I still run up the stairs when it's dark and I'm alone, and I don't know that I'll ever break that habit, either. Too ingrained in me.

And it's not just the fact that I'm easily scared. I just like having someone to talk to when I get home from work. There are days (more than a few) where I don't want to be bothered with people, but overall I cherish companionship and friendship and the love that relationships within the home bring.

So even when I move out, which I'm hoping is soon, I couldn't stand to have my own place. I need roommates to keep away the bogeyman and loneliness.

For this week, I'll cherish the time I have to myself all the while knowing that the solitude will be short lived. And hey, at least I have the dog. He may not be a great conversationalist, but he'll protect me from the things that go bump in the night. Sort of. He'll probably just lick them, but what can I say, he's a golden retriever.

Where are they all hiding?

Boy, do I have a headache. One of the hazards of working in a converted barn, especially being up top in the "loft" where the ceiling starts at 6 feet and slopes to nothing, is the danger of smacking your noggin really hard against exposed beams. Which I did. Really hard. Did I say my head hurts?

I did it early this afternoon, and even though I dosed up on painkillers, it still aches. And it only makes matters worse when you're trying to concentrate and work after said collision.

But while I was at work, during a daily walk I take with some of my fellow single female coworkers, I shared a random thought that had been plaguing me this weekend. I really want a boyfriend this summer.

It doesn't have to be anything life-altering. He doesn't have to be "the one." I just want to go out and have fun. I have to say, I'd like to go on more than 2 dates with a guy, which up till now has been the sum total of my dating experiences. I've gone out with plenty of guys, problem is, I've never been asked out by one I've actually been interested in.

So while walking with my co-workers I had an epiphany: If I want to date a guy I'm interested in, I'll have to be a little more proactive about it. No more sitting on the sidelines waiting for a great guy to come to me. I need to find the one I want and go for it.

That's the other problem I have at the moment. I have no idea where to go to meet them. My circle of friends is presently limited, though I've been trying to expand it. I don't go to bars or clubs because, honestly, those aren't the kind of guys I want to date.

And my account on the online dating thing expires on Thursday (hallelujah!). No more creepy messages from 50 year old men, thank you. And no more antisocial guys trying to flirt with me. The other day I got a message from one 35-year-old man who figured it was time he should start dating. Ya think?

There is one possibility for dating that actually did come from the online thing. He seems normal and is only 2 years older than myself, but he does live an hour away. That could be doable, especially if I'm just planning on having fun. I guess we'll see where it goes. I haven't heard from him in a few days, so it's likely I scared another one off.

But the point of this whole post is that I am going to make something happen this summer, dang it! Strong language, I know, but this situation calls for strong measures. If anyone has any brilliant ideas on how to meet nice, eligible, handsome guys, let me know. I'm taking all the suggestions I can (within reason).

I plan on having fun, and I think a nice guy would fit into that very nicely, don't ya think?

P.S. One friend at work knows me too well already. When I mentioned I had a random thought she asked, "Aren't you going to blog about it?" And I replied, "Yes I am." Honestly, what else would I do?

P.S.S. I am not desperate, and I do realize that I can have fun without a guy, but I've been doing the single-and-loving-it thing for 26 years now. So I think I'll shake things up a little and give the whole dating thing a try.

A song to remember me by

There's something about music that sets the tone for living. While downloading another CD in my vast collection, I heard a song that instantly put me in the mood to sit in quiet reflection as I sip a cup of herbal tea. Probably because this is what I have often done while listening to this particular CD, which is a collection of soothing classical songs, aptly titled Dream Melodies. (The song, if you're interested, is Kinderscenen: Traumerei.)

It got me to thinking about how songs can affect our moods, and even how they can bring feelings and memories to mind as we listen to them. This song carries with it an atmosphere of peaceful contemplation. It also instantly brought to my mind the overall sensation of sitting and thinking about life.

The next song, Two Elegiac Melodies: No. 2 Last Spring, continued in that same strain: the utter tranquility that comes with a soul at peace with the world. There are times where I long to feel like this, and it is so comforting to know that I can find it in the transcendent sounds of a song.

There are other songs that, when played, bring forth memories of certain people or events or places. Listening to the opening lines of one song takes me back to driving down a road with a friend in Quebec. Every time we'd make that particular journey, often once a week, we'd listen to that CD, talking and laughing, watching the sun set over the river dividing Montreal from the island where we lived. Those were good times.

Some songs remind me of my mother, though one in particular I doubt she'd appreciate. She absolutely hated the song I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred, but every time it came on the radio my siblings and I would play it really loud so she could hear it. She was such a good sport about it and never got frustrated with us, or at least never let us know if she was. It's sad to say, but that song reminds me of her every time I hear it, which if fortunately seldom.

And the list goes on, song upon song that brings with it a feeling of contentment, gidiness or even sorrow, but as I listen I can remember how I felt at different stages in my life. There is a power in music that I can't even begin to understand but one I cherish. Without music, life would be void of one of the most important senses we have. Just as the smell of baking bread elicits a sigh of pleasure and a return to a childhood filled with warm bread and even warmer hugs, music can transport us back to where we came from.

I needed to feel that today, the peace and comfort a graceful melody brings. Now, I think it's time for that cup of tea.

Voices crying from the shelf

I should be banned from bookstores. I really should. I swear it’s not good for me, or at least for my wallet, though I’m sure the booksellers are more than happy to accommodate me. It’s like a black hole that sucks me in anytime I’m within a mile of one. It’s like a beacon that calls to me from my dreary, mundane world, telling me everything will be better once I get a new book to lead me off into new fantasies.

It’s not like I have cash to burn, by any means, but week in and week out I’m back again, searching for another hit.

My bookshelves aren’t taking it too well, either. They’re strained to capacity, bulging in places where I stack books on top of each other to create nonexistent space.

The sad part of all this is that I haven’t read all of them yet. Some of them are calling to me, pleading, “Open my cover. I promise, once you look inside me you won’t turn back until you’ve whipped yourself into a reading frenzy and nothing is left except for a few words of thanks at the end. It won’t hurt. It’s easy, I promise.”

Sometimes their cries go unheard for months, even years as my book collection continues to expand. But then, every once in a while, I remember a little treasure I had shoved away in the top of the closet, waiting for a moment such as this. They’re all waiting for that moment, I’m sure. Otherwise what would life be to a book? Sitting lonely on a shelf, collecting dust and spider webs and who knows what other secrets.

Hmm. . . Maybe I need to rethink the whole buying a new book whenever I fancy and start to consider my book collection as a private bookstore where I can rediscover classics that have been waiting patiently for me all along. That way I won’t have to keep ignoring all those voices crying out to me in the night. I need my sleep, you know.

P.S. I've had to get creative finding places to put them. They're lining my dresser and in every possible crannie in my closet. And yes, I do arrange my shirts according to color. OCD, what can I say?

All I need is a little relaxation

Tonight, it's all about me. I stopped by the store on the way home from work and decided I need to pamper myself. So I bought some chocolate truffles (heavenly) to eat while I watch a movie and then later I'll hop in the tub with some aromatherapy sea salts and face mask. By the time I go to bed tonight, I hope to be floating. Which means I'll catch up with you later because I've got a pleasant night ahead of me.

Edit, an hour and a half later: Okay, so I really intended to start my night of luxury, but it's so hard when my blogging addiction kicks in and I have to see what everyone is up to. Now I'm finally going to settle in with my movie (Because I Said So, it sounds like a good chick flick) and take a late, relaxing bath. And boy, are those truffles good.