I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but my dad and stepmom went up to visit my sister in Seattle just a few days after I left there. I don't have any qualms about that, though, because they drove the whole way, and I dread spending 4 hours in the car (which I'll be doing on Thursday as I head up to Jackson Hole) let alone 14 hours. I've done it before, but I can't say I've ever enjoyed it.
Anyway, before they returned home, my sister loaded them up with a box of dishes she received from my grandma as a wedding present. My sister didn't like any of it, so she's passing it on to me to keep it all in the family since many of them can be considered heirlooms.
Tonight I spent a few hours going through the whole box, which was about 3 feet tall and had maybe a hundred or more pieces in it. I picked out what I like, which was mainly the crystal, and will pass the rest of it on to my brother and his wife.
There's actually a nice set of china that I'll be giving them. Although it is probably expensive, I don't really care for the pattern on the set--much too gaudy for me. But for my brother and sister-in-law, who don't own any fine china, that will be a nice thing to have.
So now I have several different pieces of crystal that I will be packing away until I have a family, or at least a house, of my own, but it was fun going through everything and picking out what I wanted. Sort of like a garage sale in my living room, except I didn't have to pay for any of it. The not spending any money part is nice, really nice.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Window shopping (supposedly)
I'm starting to get excited about moving. I stopped by several stores today with the express purpose of comparing prices on things I'll need: a microwave, a computer desk, a chair for the desk and a bookshelf. That was my intention, at least.
By the time I was done, I had bought a crock pot, some measuring cups and some tupperware (the really cheap kind I won't care if I loose it all). Tomorrow I'm going back to buy a cute bookshelf for $20 at Target (have I ever mentioned my love for all things Target?) and a rolling chair for $20, also at Target. I also scoped out prices for a blender, a mixer and other miscellaneous kitchen items. I already have a George Foreman grill I bought months ago when it was more than half off and I couldn't resist, though it has wallowed under my bed since then. But in a week's time, that little puppy will join all his new kitchen appliance friends in my new townhouse. Wahoo!
It's definitely time to move out, and I always get excited right before a big change. Especially since I'm such a cooking/home decorating nerd. I have to say, most of my stuff, though cheap, is pretty dang cute. It doesn't all match, but hey, when you've been in college for much of the past 8 years, your things develop a random, shabby chic about them.
I figure, though, that now that I have more money and the disposition, I'm going to start buying nicer things. I have nice dishes already, but I never used them for fear that a roommate would break them. Now I'll only have one roommate, and dang it, I want to pamper myself by surrounding myself with nicer things than I have in the past.
I am excited, well, for everything but the moving all my junk part. Unpacking is generally pretty fun because you get to find new places to put everything. This is good. I feel good about the direction my life is headed.
By the time I was done, I had bought a crock pot, some measuring cups and some tupperware (the really cheap kind I won't care if I loose it all). Tomorrow I'm going back to buy a cute bookshelf for $20 at Target (have I ever mentioned my love for all things Target?) and a rolling chair for $20, also at Target. I also scoped out prices for a blender, a mixer and other miscellaneous kitchen items. I already have a George Foreman grill I bought months ago when it was more than half off and I couldn't resist, though it has wallowed under my bed since then. But in a week's time, that little puppy will join all his new kitchen appliance friends in my new townhouse. Wahoo!
It's definitely time to move out, and I always get excited right before a big change. Especially since I'm such a cooking/home decorating nerd. I have to say, most of my stuff, though cheap, is pretty dang cute. It doesn't all match, but hey, when you've been in college for much of the past 8 years, your things develop a random, shabby chic about them.
I figure, though, that now that I have more money and the disposition, I'm going to start buying nicer things. I have nice dishes already, but I never used them for fear that a roommate would break them. Now I'll only have one roommate, and dang it, I want to pamper myself by surrounding myself with nicer things than I have in the past.
I am excited, well, for everything but the moving all my junk part. Unpacking is generally pretty fun because you get to find new places to put everything. This is good. I feel good about the direction my life is headed.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Planning ahead
I like to set goals for myself. It's always something I've done, though generally on small scale, but today in church someone gave a lesson on the importance of setting goals that will help us get where we want to be in life. He said that we have to consider what we want in life and then write down goals that will help us accomplish that.
One thing I hadn't pondered until the discussion today was how the goals I've had related to where I want my life to go. Most of them dealt with how I wanted to improve myself, but none of them addressed the issue of how those goals would help me get to where I want to be. So I spent a good part of the day reviewing those previous goals and really thinking about the direction I want my life to go.
For years I knew exactly what I wanted to do: work and study hard so I can get my degree; land my perfect job as a book editor; move out on my own and enjoy life as a singleton.
Well, I'm there (or very nearly). And that's the brick wall I've been facing for the past few months--what in the world am I supposed to do now that I've accomplished the goals I set for myself?
I want to get married and have a family, but that's not really a goal I can set. There are so many variables involved there, including finding someone I'd want to marry who also wants to marry me. It's much more complicated than I ever thought it'd be.
So that's out, as far as planning goes. It could happen in a few months or even years down the road. I don't know. And that, I think has been a big part of what's keeping me from planning anything tangible because I don't really know where else I want to be in my life.
Taking the time to think it through was a really good thing. I realized that although I couldn't set any goals about when or where or who I'll marry, I can set some specific goals about making sure I'm the person someone will want to marry as well as goals on how I can actually get out and start meeting people. I can also make pointed goals about how I can improve my self-image, which includes getting myself down to a healthy weight. That and improving my mind through reading and study.
One of the most important area of goals, for me at this point in my life, relates to my book. I honestly see my future involving writing more than editing, though I love both. My progression has the most potential as a writer, but unfortunately my fear and self-doubt have kept my hands tied where it comes to my book.
For a long time I've subscribed to the philosophy that I can only write when I feel inspired to do so. I would read advice from other writers about how they force themselves to write every day even when they don't feel like it. I didn't think that was me, it just wouldn't work for me any time I tried it. But now I'm realizing that my book will never get written if I don't force myself a little. It will sit on my computer in the same place it's been for the past few months. So my big goal is to write 5 pages a week and to at least look at some portion of my book or notes every day. I know that doesn't sound very drastic, but for someone who often balks at forced writing, that might be a challenge, at least until I get into the swing of it. And that doesn't mean I can't write more than that when the mood strikes me, but it's a tangible goal I can track and where I can succeed every week even when I have 7 days in a row of off days. I figured out that if I wrote only 5 pages a week, I should have the book done in 7 months--not too shabby for a project that's been in the works for a good 2 years.
I feel good about these goals, and it's helped to re-evaluate where I want my life to go. I'm not sure where my writing will take me, if anywhere, but at least I have a plan in place to move me along closer to where I want to end up.
One thing I hadn't pondered until the discussion today was how the goals I've had related to where I want my life to go. Most of them dealt with how I wanted to improve myself, but none of them addressed the issue of how those goals would help me get to where I want to be. So I spent a good part of the day reviewing those previous goals and really thinking about the direction I want my life to go.
For years I knew exactly what I wanted to do: work and study hard so I can get my degree; land my perfect job as a book editor; move out on my own and enjoy life as a singleton.
Well, I'm there (or very nearly). And that's the brick wall I've been facing for the past few months--what in the world am I supposed to do now that I've accomplished the goals I set for myself?
I want to get married and have a family, but that's not really a goal I can set. There are so many variables involved there, including finding someone I'd want to marry who also wants to marry me. It's much more complicated than I ever thought it'd be.
So that's out, as far as planning goes. It could happen in a few months or even years down the road. I don't know. And that, I think has been a big part of what's keeping me from planning anything tangible because I don't really know where else I want to be in my life.
Taking the time to think it through was a really good thing. I realized that although I couldn't set any goals about when or where or who I'll marry, I can set some specific goals about making sure I'm the person someone will want to marry as well as goals on how I can actually get out and start meeting people. I can also make pointed goals about how I can improve my self-image, which includes getting myself down to a healthy weight. That and improving my mind through reading and study.
One of the most important area of goals, for me at this point in my life, relates to my book. I honestly see my future involving writing more than editing, though I love both. My progression has the most potential as a writer, but unfortunately my fear and self-doubt have kept my hands tied where it comes to my book.
For a long time I've subscribed to the philosophy that I can only write when I feel inspired to do so. I would read advice from other writers about how they force themselves to write every day even when they don't feel like it. I didn't think that was me, it just wouldn't work for me any time I tried it. But now I'm realizing that my book will never get written if I don't force myself a little. It will sit on my computer in the same place it's been for the past few months. So my big goal is to write 5 pages a week and to at least look at some portion of my book or notes every day. I know that doesn't sound very drastic, but for someone who often balks at forced writing, that might be a challenge, at least until I get into the swing of it. And that doesn't mean I can't write more than that when the mood strikes me, but it's a tangible goal I can track and where I can succeed every week even when I have 7 days in a row of off days. I figured out that if I wrote only 5 pages a week, I should have the book done in 7 months--not too shabby for a project that's been in the works for a good 2 years.
I feel good about these goals, and it's helped to re-evaluate where I want my life to go. I'm not sure where my writing will take me, if anywhere, but at least I have a plan in place to move me along closer to where I want to end up.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Happily ever after?
Much of my free time lately has been spent reading, and most of those stories have been fairy tales. Stories filled with adventure, a quest, a curse to break or some other fight to win happiness and love.
I'm not the only one reading them. These stories have been around for generations. Something about them speaks to us, tells us something we want to hear. There is a part of all of us that wants to know that though life is hard, we will come through and win our heart's desire, whether it be fame, fortune or love.
Often people talk about someone having fairy tale life when by all appearances that person has it easy without a care in the world. But that's not really what the fairy tale is about. The easy life doesn't come so easily. First there has to be a struggle, a tragedy that shapes the character's life and forces them to work for what they want. That's a big part of why the stories are so appealing: They have to overcome a big hardship or test before their happy endings come.
I think much of why I like to read these stories is because I'm waiting for my happy ever after. I've been making my way through my trials, my lifelong quest for happiness, and sometimes I feel as though I've earned my happy ending when the struggles finally ceases and the girl finds her true love.
But still it doesn't come, and so I submerge myself in stories where I know that by the time I reach page 344, Beauty will have her Beast and Cinderella will win her Prince Charming. I live vicariously through them because my life is stuck at page 52 in the segue way "and several months passed while she waited . . ."
My life is coming close to a crossroads, though, or at least I hope it is. I want to move forward with the plot, make some discovery that will change the course of the story and introduce the hero, though he may still be in disguise.
Maybe I need to act more like Belle instead of Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Instead of waiting for my prince to come rescue me, I should be actively working to educate myself and be content with my surroundings. I always did like Belle the best.
I'm not the only one reading them. These stories have been around for generations. Something about them speaks to us, tells us something we want to hear. There is a part of all of us that wants to know that though life is hard, we will come through and win our heart's desire, whether it be fame, fortune or love.
Often people talk about someone having fairy tale life when by all appearances that person has it easy without a care in the world. But that's not really what the fairy tale is about. The easy life doesn't come so easily. First there has to be a struggle, a tragedy that shapes the character's life and forces them to work for what they want. That's a big part of why the stories are so appealing: They have to overcome a big hardship or test before their happy endings come.
I think much of why I like to read these stories is because I'm waiting for my happy ever after. I've been making my way through my trials, my lifelong quest for happiness, and sometimes I feel as though I've earned my happy ending when the struggles finally ceases and the girl finds her true love.
But still it doesn't come, and so I submerge myself in stories where I know that by the time I reach page 344, Beauty will have her Beast and Cinderella will win her Prince Charming. I live vicariously through them because my life is stuck at page 52 in the segue way "and several months passed while she waited . . ."
My life is coming close to a crossroads, though, or at least I hope it is. I want to move forward with the plot, make some discovery that will change the course of the story and introduce the hero, though he may still be in disguise.
Maybe I need to act more like Belle instead of Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Instead of waiting for my prince to come rescue me, I should be actively working to educate myself and be content with my surroundings. I always did like Belle the best.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
A reading frenzy
I got home two days ago, but honestly, I haven't even turned on my home computer since then. I'm realizing how my life really does go in phases. Some weeks I'll spend hours blogging and playing online, and then there are weeks like the past few where I dive right into books and can't seem to tear myself away from them.
Seattle was fun, by the way. We didn't do much, but it was nice visiting my sister and getting away from work and home for a few days. We did, however, spend all of Friday night and most of Saturday reading a certain book that was recently released.
I've been reading a lot the past few weeks, maybe even a little too much. Looking in my book journal (which is an excellent way to keep track of books I read and want to read, as well as series I'm in the middle of reading but waiting for the next installment to come out) and realized that I've read 6 books since last Wednesday. That's nearly a book a day, and not all of them were thin, either. Some were hefty, like HP, though a couple were little more than a hundred pages each. I most certainly am a bibliophile.
What this tells me, though, is that I really need to get back on a schedule. I can spend all of my evenings reading and neglect everything else around me. Once again I need to learn balance in my life. Balance. Otherwise I'll end up...well, I'm not sure how I'll end up, but it's now how I want to live. Too much of anything will nearly always be bad for you, no matter how good the thing is in and of itself.
So what this means is that my little vacation from blogging is over, and I will once again get back to doing all the things I love, though only a little bit of it at a time.
P.S. In case you were wondering, the books I read this week were:
Spindle's End by Robin McKinley
The Wizard's Apprentice and The Wizard's Scepter, both by Jackie French Koller
Deerskin by Robin McKinley
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
Fablehaven: Rise of the Evening Star by Brandon Mull
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Moving on
Some days, there just isn't anything I want to write about. Well, I've had a few weeks of those days. I spent much more time reading, probably a little too much, but I enjoyed it.
I did end up finding an apartment. I really do hope this is what I've been looking for. My new roommate and I already put a deposit down, though we have yet to sign the contract. I'd thought we had, but I found out that was just to allow them to do a background check. So I should move in around the second week of August. It's a two-story townhouse. Two bed, one bath. I'm really hoping my roommate doesn't care which room she gets, as she said earlier, because I'd really like the bigger one. Call me selfish, but I'd like to have room to breathe.
Either way, it'll be good to be moving on with my life. It's definitely time. The only thing I'm dreading now is packing up all my stuff and moving it. I have moving. After doing that shuffle every year during college, I'm just so tired of it. But I guess no one really likes it; it just has to be done.
I'm not going to move or pack or do anything, though, until I get back from my trip to Seattle. I'm leaving Friday night and will be back Tuesday, so you can expect not to hear from me until then.
P.S. When I planned the trip, I forgot it was Harry Potter weekend. I'd planned to attend a big party with friends, but now my sister says we can go to the party at her local Walmart. Not as exciting as what might be going on in Seattle, but she lives 2 hours away and doesn't want to drive that far late at night. All I care about is buying a copy and reading it before I get to work on Wednesday. There's no way I'll let anyone spoil the ending for me.
I did end up finding an apartment. I really do hope this is what I've been looking for. My new roommate and I already put a deposit down, though we have yet to sign the contract. I'd thought we had, but I found out that was just to allow them to do a background check. So I should move in around the second week of August. It's a two-story townhouse. Two bed, one bath. I'm really hoping my roommate doesn't care which room she gets, as she said earlier, because I'd really like the bigger one. Call me selfish, but I'd like to have room to breathe.
Either way, it'll be good to be moving on with my life. It's definitely time. The only thing I'm dreading now is packing up all my stuff and moving it. I have moving. After doing that shuffle every year during college, I'm just so tired of it. But I guess no one really likes it; it just has to be done.
I'm not going to move or pack or do anything, though, until I get back from my trip to Seattle. I'm leaving Friday night and will be back Tuesday, so you can expect not to hear from me until then.
P.S. When I planned the trip, I forgot it was Harry Potter weekend. I'd planned to attend a big party with friends, but now my sister says we can go to the party at her local Walmart. Not as exciting as what might be going on in Seattle, but she lives 2 hours away and doesn't want to drive that far late at night. All I care about is buying a copy and reading it before I get to work on Wednesday. There's no way I'll let anyone spoil the ending for me.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Bed time
I feel bad--I've been neglecting my bloggie again. I do promise to be better, but for now it's well past my bedtime. I will say that the Harry Potter movie was good, and the fighting scenes at the end were especially spectacular. Ralph Fiennes does an amazing job as Voldemort, and all the other actors do excellent jobs. I think I'll like it better after I've seen it again. It's always the same with the movie version of a book I love--at first I'm upset that they left out all my favorite parts, but then on later viewing I start to like it for its own merits. I'm sure that'll be the case again. But for now, good night. I'm beat.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Something fun
I'll admit it, I take a lot of these quizzes because I think they're fun, but I don't post them because most people probably don't care. But I found one I think gets me somewhat accurately, and basically because I love the color green.
| Your Aura is Green |
 You're very driven, competitive, and even a bit jealous. However, you seek out balance in your life - and you usually achieve it! The purpose of your life: inspiring others to be better Famous greens include: Tony Robbins, Donald Trump, Martha Stewart Careers for you to try: Guru, CEO, Talk Show Host |
About time
These past few Thursdays I just haven't felt like participating as I usually do in Thursday Thirteen. I'm sure I'll return to my normally scheduled programming next week, but for now I just want to blog about what's been going on today. (As a note, I really appreciate having a blog where I can dump all my thoughts and cares. It's wonderfully cathartic.)
Well, I continue to be frustrated living at home and am really anxious to find a place of my own. I realized while talking to my stepmom tonight (I wish my dad would stop telling her exactly what I say. It makes it so I don't want to confide in him because I don't trust him to keep it to himself.) that some of my frustrations aren't necessarily with her, per se, but with the situation. After having lived on my own for so many years, it's extremely difficult to go back home where people tell you what to do or expect you to abide by their rules. So, although I do bristle at the way she asks me to do things, that isn't all that I'm frustrated with. Just having someone expect me to do what they want is irritation enough for me.
It's more than time for me to strike out on my own again, but I finally have the means and the ways to accomplish that. I spoke again to the girl who wants to find a roommate. After the first place fell through, both she and I started looking for other places that would fit within our budgets. Tomorrow we're going to look at one of them. I really hope something works out, and soon. It'll be nice to have my life moving forward again instead of stagnating all the time. It's definitely time.
Well, I continue to be frustrated living at home and am really anxious to find a place of my own. I realized while talking to my stepmom tonight (I wish my dad would stop telling her exactly what I say. It makes it so I don't want to confide in him because I don't trust him to keep it to himself.) that some of my frustrations aren't necessarily with her, per se, but with the situation. After having lived on my own for so many years, it's extremely difficult to go back home where people tell you what to do or expect you to abide by their rules. So, although I do bristle at the way she asks me to do things, that isn't all that I'm frustrated with. Just having someone expect me to do what they want is irritation enough for me.
It's more than time for me to strike out on my own again, but I finally have the means and the ways to accomplish that. I spoke again to the girl who wants to find a roommate. After the first place fell through, both she and I started looking for other places that would fit within our budgets. Tomorrow we're going to look at one of them. I really hope something works out, and soon. It'll be nice to have my life moving forward again instead of stagnating all the time. It's definitely time.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Bad (hair) karma
There are times where you think that things can't possibly get worse than they've been, and then you go to get your haircut.
Yeah, pretty much this is the ugliest haircut I've ever had. In my life. And I had some pretty bad hair back in the 80s. But this is, oh, so much worse. Think short, not long enough to be a bob, fluffy on top with just enough length on the bottom to give the slightest hint of a mullet. It's absolutely horrid, the kind of a hairstyle you'd see on a woman twice my age. It may be absolutely darling on someone else, but with my face it's all wrong.
I cried for a minute when I got home from having my hair slaughtered but got over it quickly enough. There's nothing I can do but bear it. I can't grin at this point. Maybe I'll forget about it and just do my hair enough in the mornings that I don't gag at the sight of it.
Normally my hairdresser does a great job, but there have been times in the past when I've wondered what she was thinking. Most of the time I've only wondered that when she styled my hair after the cut--the haircuts themselves have always been pretty good. But this time, there are no words to describe how sick I felt when I realized what direction she was going. What I was thinking, and what I thought I told her, was that I wanted to grow my hair out, so I needed more layers to keep it from being too bulky on the sides. We definitely weren't communicating because what I got didn't relate to my vision at all.
Truth be told, I'll probably have her cut my hair again because we've been friends for too many years to split over one lousy haircut. But I'm going to be more careful in my directions in the future. I'll have to come armed with pictures and a clear idea of what I want. No more free rein for her.
So for the next few weeks/months until it grows out again, I can kiss any dating goodbye. Great first impressions? So long, I'll be seeing you, hopefully sooner than later.
Yeah, pretty much this is the ugliest haircut I've ever had. In my life. And I had some pretty bad hair back in the 80s. But this is, oh, so much worse. Think short, not long enough to be a bob, fluffy on top with just enough length on the bottom to give the slightest hint of a mullet. It's absolutely horrid, the kind of a hairstyle you'd see on a woman twice my age. It may be absolutely darling on someone else, but with my face it's all wrong.
I cried for a minute when I got home from having my hair slaughtered but got over it quickly enough. There's nothing I can do but bear it. I can't grin at this point. Maybe I'll forget about it and just do my hair enough in the mornings that I don't gag at the sight of it.
Normally my hairdresser does a great job, but there have been times in the past when I've wondered what she was thinking. Most of the time I've only wondered that when she styled my hair after the cut--the haircuts themselves have always been pretty good. But this time, there are no words to describe how sick I felt when I realized what direction she was going. What I was thinking, and what I thought I told her, was that I wanted to grow my hair out, so I needed more layers to keep it from being too bulky on the sides. We definitely weren't communicating because what I got didn't relate to my vision at all.
Truth be told, I'll probably have her cut my hair again because we've been friends for too many years to split over one lousy haircut. But I'm going to be more careful in my directions in the future. I'll have to come armed with pictures and a clear idea of what I want. No more free rein for her.
So for the next few weeks/months until it grows out again, I can kiss any dating goodbye. Great first impressions? So long, I'll be seeing you, hopefully sooner than later.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Determined
I want things to be easy in my life. That's what I want, but what I get is a completely different matter. Case in point: Today I talked to a nice girl (a friend of a friend) who is looking for a roommate. Perfect, I thought, and she even had a place in mind that was definitely within my budget. So she calls back just a few minutes ago to tell me the perfect place she had wanted to rent had been rented to someone else just 5 minutes before she called. It just wasn't meant to be.
I had thought, or at least really hoped, that once I made my decision to move out, things would fall into place so I could finally move forward with my life. I was wishing for the "beginner's luck" referenced in The Alchemist, for the universe to conspire to help me start on the path. But maybe I'm further along the path than I thought and the beginner's luck has already come and gone, leaving me with the frustrating middle of the road where I have to make hard decisions and wait and keep looking until something finally pans out. Or I could be jumping the gun a bit since I made my final decision a few short days ago.
Thing is, when I make a decision, I like to get moving and make things happen. I don't like to wait around, I don't want to be patient. I want things to work out how I want right now. No, I'm not a patient person, but I can also be determined, which I think is a good trait. Even though I tend to get frustrated, I keep working and working until I reach my goals. I don't give up. Ever. I can't remember a time when I've ever given up on anything that really mattered to me. I persevered until I finally accomplished what I set out to do. And honestly, rarely has anything ever been easy. I've had to work hard for everything I have.
I'm sure to find something, though it may take some time and some hard work to get there. Thinking about it, I tend to appreciate things the harder I have to work to get them, so maybe these little setbacks will only serve to make the situation sweeter was I finally get there.
I had thought, or at least really hoped, that once I made my decision to move out, things would fall into place so I could finally move forward with my life. I was wishing for the "beginner's luck" referenced in The Alchemist, for the universe to conspire to help me start on the path. But maybe I'm further along the path than I thought and the beginner's luck has already come and gone, leaving me with the frustrating middle of the road where I have to make hard decisions and wait and keep looking until something finally pans out. Or I could be jumping the gun a bit since I made my final decision a few short days ago.
Thing is, when I make a decision, I like to get moving and make things happen. I don't like to wait around, I don't want to be patient. I want things to work out how I want right now. No, I'm not a patient person, but I can also be determined, which I think is a good trait. Even though I tend to get frustrated, I keep working and working until I reach my goals. I don't give up. Ever. I can't remember a time when I've ever given up on anything that really mattered to me. I persevered until I finally accomplished what I set out to do. And honestly, rarely has anything ever been easy. I've had to work hard for everything I have.
I'm sure to find something, though it may take some time and some hard work to get there. Thinking about it, I tend to appreciate things the harder I have to work to get them, so maybe these little setbacks will only serve to make the situation sweeter was I finally get there.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Restless
I've been so restless these past few days. Every time I have free time, I can't think of anything I really want to do. Read? Meh. Watch a movie? Nothing sounds good. Play on the Internet? What would I look at?
Tonight, after going back and forth for a while on what I actually wanted to do, I finally decided to look at trailers for movies I wanted to see. Well, I spent the next few hours doing that, and then got sucked into looking at all the Harry Potter sites. I have to psych myself up since the movie's coming out this week and the book next week. That's one thing I can get excited about.
I just hope this apathetic phase moves on quickly.
On another, completely random tangent, I was thinking the other day about how whiny I must sound to people who read my blog. I complain a lot, though I never intend to. But I guess that's partly what blogs are for, at least what I use it for: to discuss what's going on in my life, whether it be good or bad. The fact that things weren't going so well for a few months and are starting to turn around now doesn't make me a completely negative person, or at least I hope not. I feel that things are starting to fall into place and the future is looking brighter, though there's still a way to go before everything will be all better. But it does help to have an outlet to vent. So if I come off sounding really whiny, sorry. Wait a bit and that, too, is bound to pass.
Tonight, after going back and forth for a while on what I actually wanted to do, I finally decided to look at trailers for movies I wanted to see. Well, I spent the next few hours doing that, and then got sucked into looking at all the Harry Potter sites. I have to psych myself up since the movie's coming out this week and the book next week. That's one thing I can get excited about.
I just hope this apathetic phase moves on quickly.
On another, completely random tangent, I was thinking the other day about how whiny I must sound to people who read my blog. I complain a lot, though I never intend to. But I guess that's partly what blogs are for, at least what I use it for: to discuss what's going on in my life, whether it be good or bad. The fact that things weren't going so well for a few months and are starting to turn around now doesn't make me a completely negative person, or at least I hope not. I feel that things are starting to fall into place and the future is looking brighter, though there's still a way to go before everything will be all better. But it does help to have an outlet to vent. So if I come off sounding really whiny, sorry. Wait a bit and that, too, is bound to pass.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
On family, haggis and throwing logs
Well, things aren't as bad now. My brother is staying with another brother and my dad says they talked on the phone, but it's probably better all around if he doesn't live here anymore. I also had a talk with my dad and stepmom. I understand a little more their perspective, though I still feel they both acted childishly during the whole blowout and could have handled it all better than they did. There's still a lot they need to learn, such as how to act like adults even when someone upsets you.
I also realized that it does no good trying to help my stepmom see where she needs to improve. She's too sensitive about anything resembling criticism, good or otherwise, so during her long lecture on why everyone needs to see things from her perspective, I nodded my head and didn't say a word. It wouldn't have accomplished anything. So I'm still planning to move out, if just for my own sanity, but now I have a little more time to find a good situation.
Moving on to happier things, my friends from work and I went to a Scottish festival today. We had so much fun, especially since it was four girls (and one blind date) having fun. No, the blind date this time wasn't mine, though I'm not sure what he thought about having a whole group of us there. I guess it all fits in with our habit of crashing dates. I just thought it was funny.
The first thing we did after getting there was to try ourselves some haggis. All of us were a little wary of eating anything that contained sheep brains, intestines and who knows what else, but it was a group dare, so we had to do it. I personally thought it was gross and didn't like the texture, as you can see at right. I'm not sure what it was, but something in there was really squishy. But at least now I can tell people I've eaten haggis. We were all brave today.
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There were bagpipes and the caber toss, which involves men throwing 20 foot logs like at left, and henna tattoos and kilts, lots of kilts, and food and music, though we were too late for the dancing. There wasn't anything incredibly dramatic or intriguing, just the whole atmosphere of fun and doing something different. I was also happy that I could buy some more Celtic jewelry, which I absolutely adore. You can never have enough, I say.
It was an enjoyable day spent with friends, and more than makes up for the drama and hysterics of the past few days.
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I also realized that it does no good trying to help my stepmom see where she needs to improve. She's too sensitive about anything resembling criticism, good or otherwise, so during her long lecture on why everyone needs to see things from her perspective, I nodded my head and didn't say a word. It wouldn't have accomplished anything. So I'm still planning to move out, if just for my own sanity, but now I have a little more time to find a good situation.
Moving on to happier things, my friends from work and I went to a Scottish festival today. We had so much fun, especially since it was four girls (and one blind date) having fun. No, the blind date this time wasn't mine, though I'm not sure what he thought about having a whole group of us there. I guess it all fits in with our habit of crashing dates. I just thought it was funny.
The first thing we did after getting there was to try ourselves some haggis. All of us were a little wary of eating anything that contained sheep brains, intestines and who knows what else, but it was a group dare, so we had to do it. I personally thought it was gross and didn't like the texture, as you can see at right. I'm not sure what it was, but something in there was really squishy. But at least now I can tell people I've eaten haggis. We were all brave today..jpg)
There were bagpipes and the caber toss, which involves men throwing 20 foot logs like at left, and henna tattoos and kilts, lots of kilts, and food and music, though we were too late for the dancing. There wasn't anything incredibly dramatic or intriguing, just the whole atmosphere of fun and doing something different. I was also happy that I could buy some more Celtic jewelry, which I absolutely adore. You can never have enough, I say.
It was an enjoyable day spent with friends, and more than makes up for the drama and hysterics of the past few days.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Oy, this heat
This week has already worn me out, and I really haven't done anything. The past two days I've been so tired and have had a hard time getting to sleep--not usually a good combination. A big part of that is the heat. I really think that yesterday I got overheated. The weather so far this summer has been so crazy. I can't remember another summer that's ever started out this hot or lasted so long, and it's only the beginning of July. We've got some blistering months ahead of us.
At least I have tomorrow off. Yay for the 4th of July! I finally have a job where I get regular holidays off. It's so nice. In the morning I'll be going to the zoo with my family, which should be fun since we'll have my 3-year-old niece with us. Everything is more fun when you have a child with you, especially the zoo. We're going early to avoid the midday heat. But either way, it should be fun. Here's wishing everyone a wonderful holiday!
At least I have tomorrow off. Yay for the 4th of July! I finally have a job where I get regular holidays off. It's so nice. In the morning I'll be going to the zoo with my family, which should be fun since we'll have my 3-year-old niece with us. Everything is more fun when you have a child with you, especially the zoo. We're going early to avoid the midday heat. But either way, it should be fun. Here's wishing everyone a wonderful holiday!
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Family
This evening I finally went to visit my grandma in the hospital. She's doing really well, though she still has a little numbness in her left hand and face, which is to be expected after a stroke. Fortunately it was only a small blood clot, so she should recover well.
I'd never realized how stubborn my grandma is. Most of my memories of her involve my grandpa, who was such a strong personality she had to be the docile one in the relationship to balance him out. Well, now that he's been gone a good 8 years or so, she's had to do a lot without him. But I never took the time to notice. She was always the quiet one in the background at family events. Tonight, however, I was for the first time her wit and vivacity coming through. She didn't want to wait for the nurses to help her with anything. At one point she had her walker rocking back and forth raring to get out of the chair and couldn't wait another second until they came. The only reason she waited is the nurses got upset if she tried to walk without them, so she waited, but not patiently.
It was also good to talk with other members of my extended family. I hadn't seen some of them in years. At first I was hesitant to open up to any of them because I've never really had much in common with many members of my extended family. Our lives are so different, and sometimes it's hard for me to get past the differences. But I need to learn, because they are family, yes, but also because I need to learn to love people different than myself. And what better place to start than within my own family.
I'd never realized how stubborn my grandma is. Most of my memories of her involve my grandpa, who was such a strong personality she had to be the docile one in the relationship to balance him out. Well, now that he's been gone a good 8 years or so, she's had to do a lot without him. But I never took the time to notice. She was always the quiet one in the background at family events. Tonight, however, I was for the first time her wit and vivacity coming through. She didn't want to wait for the nurses to help her with anything. At one point she had her walker rocking back and forth raring to get out of the chair and couldn't wait another second until they came. The only reason she waited is the nurses got upset if she tried to walk without them, so she waited, but not patiently.
It was also good to talk with other members of my extended family. I hadn't seen some of them in years. At first I was hesitant to open up to any of them because I've never really had much in common with many members of my extended family. Our lives are so different, and sometimes it's hard for me to get past the differences. But I need to learn, because they are family, yes, but also because I need to learn to love people different than myself. And what better place to start than within my own family.
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