STRESS!

Okay, I should probably be calm, but I'm really starting to stress right now.

For several months we've known that two of my roommates are moving out. We've been looking for women who would be interested in moving in, but it's never as easy as I hope it will be. Multiple women have come by, looking at the place, but no one has decided to move in.

So the one roommate who is staying asked me today if I had any backup plans. I don't and have just been focusing my efforts on finding two girls to fill the emptying spots. Well, she does, and one of those is to move in with the two girls who are moving out. I didn't realize at the time why that upset me, but it feels like she's planning to abandon ship if things don't work out in the next few weeks. She said she didn't want to leave me in a lurch, but honestly, just her thinking about it already is.

I feel stuck, not knowing what to do. I've been hoping to stick with the status quo lately, not considering other options. But I guess I really should. And it makes me feel uncomfortable because I've had a nice time here in this house, in this situation. I've been fine how I am. I hate it when I'm thrust into unknown situations and when I'm not sure what is going to happen.

I should probably look at it as a chance for growth and new opportunities, but right now I'm just stressing. What am I going to do? Ack.

Focus . . . focus

I sometimes have to tell myself that, and frequently. Why? Because I get easily distracted.

Ooh! Shiny object!

So what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. Focus, as in, I need to focus my energies and not go beating about trying to do everything at once.

My problem? I have so many interests and so many ideas buzzing around my head. By the time one gets planted in there, I have another even shinier idea that comes along, supplanting the first.

Lately, though, I've been learning a little about focusing my energies. That's been an essential topic for me these past few weeks. I have three great projects I'm in the middle of right now, but I had to chose the one I find most pertinent to complete. I'll finish this one, and then move onto another. Simple? Not always, but it works for me.

I've also learned the importance of setting goals to help in accomplishing that task so I don't burn out too quickly before the task is completed. My latest goal? Completing Fractured by the time my next writer's conference happens in late August. (And if you're in the Utah area, you can find the deets here.)

So tell me, how do you focus your writing?

Feeling funky

I've been feeling funky lately, as in, I've been in a major funk for the past few weeks/months/years. I really feel like I'm starting to pull out of it now. Thanks goodness.

I won't elaborate more at the moment, but let me just say it'll be nice not to dread waking up in the morning because I have to work/clean/fulfill everyone's expectations, including my own.

That's all.

Organizational skillz

I got tired of staring at endless piles of manuscripts at home, trying to find which notebook I wrote what story in. So this weekend I went on an organizing spree and bought several items to make my writing life easier. And who can say no to purple?

Hint of the day

Don't let me get near a computer when I'm hopped up on cough syrup. Bad things happen!

My own weakness

In my last blog post, I discussed weaknesses in characters and how important it is to have them. Well, I have them too, and it's not as fun having them as writing them for another character. My weakness? Impatience.

I want everything now and don't want to put in the requisite time and effort to accomplish those tasks. I want things to come easily.

The reason I bring this up is because a good friend taught me this lesson this morning. She didn't realize she was doing it, but I appreciate her teaching it to me all the same.

I've written two books now. The first one I had queried and gotten some positive feedback, but people weren't loving the book enough. A friend just read the whole thing and gave me her comments. The important thing is that she did it in a loving, caring way.

Now I'm going back through the book with her comments in mind, and I see exactly what she means. And I'm also realizing that my impatience has hindered me, yet again.

Agents and editors love to give the advice to let a book sit for a few months, and then go back to it before even thinking of querying agents with it. Well, I was impatient and didn't do that. I haven't completely shot myself in the foot because of this, but it's come pretty close.

I wanted to be the exception, the person who could write a book in a few weeks, edit in a few more, and then get an agent very quickly soon after. To be honest, I'm not at that point yet. I'm still learning, and that's okay.

So the plan right now is to go back and fix book one (Surviving Eden) while putting book two (Jessamine) in the freezer for a bit.

I know Surviving Eden isn't the book that's going to get me an agent, but I need to learn the process of revising and editing my own work if I'm to do an even better job of it the second time around.

I'm stubborn, and so some lessons have to come the hard way. The most important ones, really. Take it from me, learn the easy way. It's much better for the sanity.

Free

There's something spectacular about Independence Day. When I was little, I used to take the sawdust from those little packets of poppers, as we called them, and pretend it was fairy dust. My cousins and I would run through the park sprinkling fairy dust on each other.

But then the fireworks would start up, and we would lie on the grass and Ooh! and Aah! with each explosion of color. It was magical.

Now that I'm older, there's something still inherently magical about the Fourth of July. Not the same type of magic as when I was a child. This time it's the magic of what the holiday stands for that gives me tingles.

Just the other day as I was lying down, sick, I heard the song Proud to Be an American come on the radio, and I felt that magic. There's something inherently beautiful in the freedoms we have as Americans, in the pride we hold as a nation. In God We Trust.

Now those tingles stem from the knowledge that I am an American and I am free. I'm blessed to live in such a glorious nation, and I'm proud of the efforts we make to ensure freedoms for the rest of the world.

I am proud to be an American, and I hope for those of you who are American feel some of that pride. Though we have made mistakes, be glad to know we live in a nation that values freedom.

So as you participate in parades and fireworks and family barbecues, remember why we have this holiday. Keep the magic of this holiday alive in your own heart. I know I will.

Flawed

Being sick with the swine flu this week has given me extra time for movie watching, something I haven't taken the time to do in awhile with work and writing.

While I enjoy movies for the sake of watching, my analytical brain was on overdrive for some reason and I started noticing trends and patterns in some of the most popular movies and stories. Then I wondered why that was.

Just this afternoon, Superman was saving the world again. Superman is . . . well, he's not human, he's nearly perfect physically, and yet . . . yet he's not perfect. He's flawed. Not as a character, mind you, but as an individual. For a character, he's exactly what one wants and needs. Someone strong, good looking, a good person trying to right the world's wrongs. But he is flawed.

Around Lois, he's a complete dork, at least in the persona of Clark Kent. He acts utterly human and makes the same mistakes that people have made for centuries when dealing with members of the opposite sex. And then there's that whole kryptonite thing. A little stone can debilitate a super-human power and kill a superman.

I'm coming to see that it is the flaws and not necessarily the strengths that make a character, well, strong in a story. Take, for instance, Luke Skywalker. (As you're probably noting, I was really having a movie marathon week.) He is a headstrong kid who wants to save the world. And yet for all his youthful idealism, he has the same weakness as his father—hate. It is what nearly undoes him, and yet that tension, that internal conflict is what makes the story interesting and relatable.

People want to see weakness in their favorite characters because it makes them human and makes them like us. It's an unconscious liking, but it has an effect on the way we tell stories.

Name for me a character from a truly popular movie who doesn't have flaws. Okay, go. Really, start naming them. Do you have one yet? No?

There have been stories with characters who are practically perfect in every way, but it's hard to name one from a popular book or movie. It's because those characters aren't like the rest of humanity—frail and flawed. People don't want to relate to someone who is too perfect. First, it's unrealistic, but second, it's just boring. Even Achilles had his heel.

As readers and viewers, we want to see someone who is flawed overcome their weakness because that means that we, as flawed individuals can overcome our weaknesses too.

It's making me wonder if my characters are weak enough to be strong. How about yours? Are you making them too perfect and therefore unrelatable?

This little piggy got sick

With the swine flu. Grr. Why can't those little piggies keep it to themselves?

So I may be back later today to post on some random topic just because I'm really bored. But for now, this little piggy is off to take a nap.