Getting over myself

I've been so selfish lately. Well, maybe self-centered is a better word for it, but I've been so focused on myself lately that little else has penetrated my thoughts. For a while it was necessary to concentrate on things that needed to happen--getting a new job, getting over a boy, getting myself back on track. But now I need to get outside myself again so I don't get stuck in a woe-is-me mindset and forget about everyone else.

Lately I'd been avoiding talking to certain people who aren't very socially adept. Sometimes they can be a little much to handle. In the past, I've had great conversations with them and really learned to appreciate the beauty inside them, even though they have a hard time expressing it at times. But for the past little while as I'd focused so much on my own wants and needs, these people had gotten on my nerves and I'd had little patience for them.

Tonight, however, at a church social event, some of them were sitting by themselves while everyone else around them was chatting away and having a good time. So I decided that instead of seeking out my close friends or funny people, I'd sit by these two sisters. It only took me a moment to feel good about my decision. Something as simple as asking them how their days were and what they were up to lately brightened both their day and mine. And as other people joined our table, it really started being a lot of fun.

With all my self-involvement, I've missed that, the feeling of camaraderie with people I normally wouldn't choose to associate. These people have such big hearts and want to share their beauty with others, only if they're open to receive it--and I'm sad to say that for a while I wasn't open to them.

Part of my efforts to open my heart again must include small little acts of service to those who really need it. It may seem a small thing, but for me, making sure those girls didn't feel like outcasts was a big thing, even if they don't see it that way. For me, it's the first step in learning to love again and seek for the beauty in each person I meet. In that way, I can find the beauty in myself again.