Reassessment

I think it's time to reevaluate my life . . . again. I tend to do this periodically, usually after periods of intense frustration. And boy am I frustrated. It seems that nothing I'm working hard to accomplish is turning out the way I'd hoped and planned.

Maybe that's the problem: Life doesn't always work out in the nice, easy way I think it will. There are complications, there is heartache, other people may choose to act differently than I want them to. But that doesn't mean my life is a failure. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

So where do I stand right now?

With my job, I'm working but only part time without benefits at a place where I don't feel like an equal. I'm hoping to find a new job soon, but nothing I've applied or interviewed for has worked out. I've only been at it a few months, but I'm still worried about finding a position before I'm kicked off my dad's insurance at the end of April.

But what can I do to change it? Right now, all I can do is keep looking and try to network as much as I can. As much as I hate to admit it, this is one situation I can't control. Diligence, combined with patience, will probably help me most at the moment.

As for my one big hope for the future, my trip to Paris, that is still underway. I'm saving up and planning what I'll do when I get there. It seems like the one bright spot on the horizon, the thing that helps me want to get out of bed in the morning. With something to look forward to, things somehow get easier.

I probably sound like such a baby, whining about problems that seem so trivial. But they aren't, for me at least. Having a family is the only thing I really want at the moment. I want to be married and have kids. I know my life can be full and happy without that, but after many years of doing the single-and-loving-it thing, I'm ready to move on to that next step in life. I think I just need to be patient and keep working toward my goals and I'll get there eventually.