Oh boy

Oh, what to do, what to do. I feel like a mess right now. I probably shouldn't, since there's nothing really wrong, it just doesn't feel right, for some reason.

I got one of my frustrations taken care of this week. My stepmom had guilt-tripped me into watching my niece a few days a week when she was the one who had committed to watching her in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I love my niece very much, but chasing after a 3 year old when I need to be finding a job and doing other things to get my life in order can get really tiresome really quick.

So I went above her head and told my sister-in-law about my concerns and they worked it out so someone else is watching her on the days I used to. I'm really glad I talked to her and it was resolved in a caring and positive way. That's how families should work -- helping each other out as needed, but understanding when circumstances change. I feel really good about the outcome.

Now I have more time to devote to finding a new job. If all goes well, fairly soon I'll have another one of my anxieties taken off my back.

I don't know. All I know is that I want my life to feel right again. I want to feel like a whole person without chunks missing all over the place. Sigh.