Read at your own peril

Disclaimer: The following post will be filled with whining, crying, rants, and a general foul mood. If you do not wish to subject yourself to this (how I wish I didn't have to subject myself to this), skip down a few posts and read on. Otherwise, hold your hats because it's a doozy.

No matter what I try lately, nothing seems to be working out for me. I hate feeling like this, like the bottom of my world is dropping out and there's nothing to catch me from falling.

My list of woes includes: work sucks and is steadily getting worse; I can't find a job that I'm qualified for that will pay me what I want; I have no dating life and only weird guys hit on me, even on dreadful Internet dating sites, since most of the normal ones run for cover; and I hate living at home and would rather be living somewhere else.

It may not seem so dreadful, but the list keeps on piling up and it's all spilling over to a boiling point. I'm about ready to explode. In tears or anger, no one knows. That we'll just have to wait and see. Though I do hope it's while I'm at home where I can sob my eyes out by myself.

And it's not like I enjoy feeling this way. I've tried countless things to lighten my mood today (yoga, walking, reading, writing in my journal), but none of them has had any affect whatsoever. I'm doomed, at least for the moment, to wallow in my misery.

I'm hoping it'll start to get better soon. I don't know how much longer I can stand all these turbulent emotions coursing through me. And there's only so many times I can assure people I'm only tired (Sorry Mamie). I pray it isn't a long, drawn-out torture. I'd prefer a swift beheading to slowly drowning any day.

Unfortunately not all of it's up to me. I have to deal with other people making their own choices and I have to live with the consequences of the choices they make. That more than anything at the moment is upsetting me. If this were all up to me, I'd have my problems fixed in no time. But I can't do that, not in this case. All I can do is keep going and working and waiting for it all to work itself out. Geez, that sucks.

End note: I apologize for the aforementioned foul mood and hope I haven't scared away every unwary, and normal, person who had the misfortune to cross my site. Have a nice day.