Planning ahead

I like to set goals for myself. It's always something I've done, though generally on small scale, but today in church someone gave a lesson on the importance of setting goals that will help us get where we want to be in life. He said that we have to consider what we want in life and then write down goals that will help us accomplish that.

One thing I hadn't pondered until the discussion today was how the goals I've had related to where I want my life to go. Most of them dealt with how I wanted to improve myself, but none of them addressed the issue of how those goals would help me get to where I want to be. So I spent a good part of the day reviewing those previous goals and really thinking about the direction I want my life to go.

For years I knew exactly what I wanted to do: work and study hard so I can get my degree; land my perfect job as a book editor; move out on my own and enjoy life as a singleton.

Well, I'm there (or very nearly). And that's the brick wall I've been facing for the past few months--what in the world am I supposed to do now that I've accomplished the goals I set for myself?

I want to get married and have a family, but that's not really a goal I can set. There are so many variables involved there, including finding someone I'd want to marry who also wants to marry me. It's much more complicated than I ever thought it'd be.

So that's out, as far as planning goes. It could happen in a few months or even years down the road. I don't know. And that, I think has been a big part of what's keeping me from planning anything tangible because I don't really know where else I want to be in my life.

Taking the time to think it through was a really good thing. I realized that although I couldn't set any goals about when or where or who I'll marry, I can set some specific goals about making sure I'm the person someone will want to marry as well as goals on how I can actually get out and start meeting people. I can also make pointed goals about how I can improve my self-image, which includes getting myself down to a healthy weight. That and improving my mind through reading and study.

One of the most important area of goals, for me at this point in my life, relates to my book. I honestly see my future involving writing more than editing, though I love both. My progression has the most potential as a writer, but unfortunately my fear and self-doubt have kept my hands tied where it comes to my book.

For a long time I've subscribed to the philosophy that I can only write when I feel inspired to do so. I would read advice from other writers about how they force themselves to write every day even when they don't feel like it. I didn't think that was me, it just wouldn't work for me any time I tried it. But now I'm realizing that my book will never get written if I don't force myself a little. It will sit on my computer in the same place it's been for the past few months. So my big goal is to write 5 pages a week and to at least look at some portion of my book or notes every day. I know that doesn't sound very drastic, but for someone who often balks at forced writing, that might be a challenge, at least until I get into the swing of it. And that doesn't mean I can't write more than that when the mood strikes me, but it's a tangible goal I can track and where I can succeed every week even when I have 7 days in a row of off days. I figured out that if I wrote only 5 pages a week, I should have the book done in 7 months--not too shabby for a project that's been in the works for a good 2 years.

I feel good about these goals, and it's helped to re-evaluate where I want my life to go. I'm not sure where my writing will take me, if anywhere, but at least I have a plan in place to move me along closer to where I want to end up.