Where do I go from here?

My life is so confusing at the moment. I'm not sure where to turn or in which direction I should go. I always wonder why life has to be like this, to take so much from me. I've been trying to decide what I want out of life. I'm single, but I want a family. I'm content, but I want to find joy.

But I'm at peace right now with how everything is going, which is not something I can normally say. I know it'll work out in the end. I feel the calm assurance that no matter what happens, it's the right thing and I'll be happy for choosing to live my life this way.

The thing that set me off about my situation is that I decided to start looking for a new job. I've been at my current job for a year now, and it is something I enjoy. The only problem is that they only have me working part time, meaning they don't want to give me benefits. And in a few months I'll be too old to be included on my family's insurance anymore.

So I have a catalyst working in my life right now. For a while I had let things go where they would and not do anything to change my situation because I was content. I can't do that anymore, and I'm okay with that. I want change in my life, I crave it. I need to do something that makes me feel as if I'm in control of my destiny, though it may only be that I'm choosing to follow a predetermined plan. Either way, I'm fine with that.

I'm not sure how things will turn out, but I know that no matter what, I'll be fine. I'm not alone. My happiness depends not on my situation or on others, but on the knowledge that I am loved and everything will turn out for my good.