Finding the spirit

I've lost the Christmas spirit. The past few weeks I've noticed that no matter how many carols I listened to, no matter how many presents I wrapped, and no matter how hard I tried to feel that quiet comfort the holiday usually brings, it was nowhere to be found.

I tried to tell myself that it had to be something, there had to be some key that I was missing. I looked to the Bible story of Christ's miraculous birth, yet still there was nothing. A piece of my heart was missing.

So today I made a goal to find the Christmas spirit because I knew it had to be somewhere near. I knew that with family all around celebrating the holiday some of it was bound to rub off on me.

Finally, after all my searching, I realized what I had earlier missed. Giving is the heart of Christmas. Try though I might, I fretted about the presents I would receive and I worried if the presents I gave were big enough to make my friends and family happy. I worked so hard to make Christmas perfect that I lost sight of what it really meant in my life.

It means family. It means loving for the sake of love. It means giving of yourself, your whole self, your true self, and not the false self we often try to hoist off on others. It means being you with the people you love because that is who they want to be with.

I'm learning. The process is rather difficult at times, but at least this year I learned, if a little late, that the true Christmas spirit lies in loving others. That is a gift indeed.