A case of mistaken intent

It doesn't matter what you say. What matters is what they hear.

Or read, as the case may be.

I forget where I originally heard that, years ago, but it rings truer in this Internet age than I can ever remember. We move so fast—type fast, respond fast, think fast—that often the nuances of language are missed or ignored. Especially on internet forums, chat rooms, and email, there are so many ways to misconstrue what another has written.

So whose responsibility is it to avoid misunderstandings?

Everyone's, really. Both reader and writer have the obligation to:

1) write clearly and cleanly, taking care to avoid phrases that might be misunderstood or be hurtful;
2) read things carefully so the intended meaning is understood;
3) not jump to conclusions about what the other person meant;
4) ask questions if something isn't apparent or if there is a possibility of offense;
5) not shoot off a quick response that will make the situation even worse;
6) quickly and carefully resolve any issues that arise if there is a misinterpretation;
7) not hold a grudge or keep bringing it up once the misunderstanding has been resolved.

I'm not perfect at this, by a long shot, which is why I think it so important to be careful in what we say and write. I'm committing to be more thoughtful before I write or say something that could be construed as offensive, even if I'm only joking. Hurt feelings are hard to repair, so it's best to avoid the situation if at all possible.

Any thoughts on this?