Brilliance

I had an epiphany today while painting the walls of Fire Petal Books. I've always considered myself a book person, though I enjoy a huge variety of hobbies and interests. Whenever anyone asks what I can't do, I always say I can't draw. While that's true, I've always longed to create art—visual art—on paper or canvas. Since I couldn't draw well, if at all, I never attempted to do anything more than put crayon to paper while playing with kids.

Then today as I sat on the floor, moving the paintbrush across the wall to fill in gaps and tidy up the edges, I realized the movement was very relaxing and even fun. As I was painting the wall all one color, I let myself paint freely without worrying that I wasn't painting it right.

That's when it struck, the thought that changed how I viewed art and my interaction with it. What does it matter if I'm any good at painting, so long as I enjoy it? It doesn't matter at all. If it's something that brings me peace, I'm going to do it whether people gasp in horror at the sight or gush over its magnificence. That's not what matters.

And then a related thought came: there are a lot of people who enjoy writing because it calms them and makes them happy. They don't have to be perfect at it to enjoy doing it. But I think what most of us (and I include myself here) don't realize is that we don't have to do it perfectly or make money from it or get it published to make the writing worthwhile. Sometimes just the doing of it is what matters most.

So tonight after I finished up at the store, I went to the craft shop and bought myself some canvases, paintbrushes, and paints. Tomorrow after I paint walls with a single color, I'm going to let myself go wild and paint whatever colors I like—and maybe even mixing them to create my own—in whatever nonsensical pattern feels natural. Right now it's not important to take classes or learn the theories behind each stroke. What I need is a moment alone with canvas, paint, and brush. It  will be more valuable to me than owning an expensive painting by someone else, because I will create it.

And that, my friends, is the stroke of brilliance I had today.