Letter to my heart

Dearest heart,

You know I appreciate you. Every day you do so much for me. In addition to the all-important task of pumping blood through my veins and keeping me alive, you help me to feel, help me to really live.

There is something I must speak with you about. I know you're sensitive—that is part of your purpose, you know—but I really must take you to task. When I ask you to help me feel something for a man, you do very well at it. Sometimes too well, especially when you take your time about it. It's alright to move slowly, I suppose, but I've come to realize that the longer you take in getting me to feel something, the more powerful it is.

Herein lies the problem. Since you take so long in getting me to love someone, it then takes you much too long to get me back to where I don't feel anything for him.

I understand this is hard for you, too—it is called heartbreak for a reason. So why do you put us both through this? There are so many things I could care deeply about: friends, family, pets. Why must you reserve the strongest emotions for men who—in the end—don't appreciate either of us?

I'm not upset with you. Really I'm not. I just don't like to see you hurt, and caring for a man inevitably leads to pain, in one form or another. Call me jaded, well, perhaps I am, but we've never really had anyone return these wonderful emotions you make me feel for them. It doesn't seem fair.

I'd like to reach a compromise on this. I don't like to chastise you, but I will if I must. The next time I ask you to let me feel something special for a man, please make sure that he is worth it. Not just worth the pain. No, I mean, make sure he will return our affection so you don't break ever again. Could you do that for me—for us? I'd really appreciate it.

There's no point in us getting hurt again, now is there? I hope you will come to see things as I do. It's all for your benefit, really. The less I hurt, the less you hurt. And don't try to talk about risk again. I won't listen if you go on about the necessity of venturing out to find love, even at the risk of pain. I won't hear it. I want risk-free love or none at all. You'll come to understand in time. It's for the best.

Thanks again for all you do. I wouldn't be anything without you.

With all of you, my dear heart,

Cordia