New year, new me (I hope)

Ah, life keeps moving even when I'd like it to slow down a bit so I can catch up. There's nothing big that's happened lately, just plenty of little things that have fallen into place or should very soon.

The holidays were good, mainly because I spent time with my family and there wasn't any of the stereotypical family fights that Hollywood loves to lambaste. Nothing extraordinary, but that in itself was probably a good thing.

I'm excited about a couple of things, though, especially with this being a new year and time for renewed efforts. The first is that I decided to sign up for one of those credit cards that accrue frequent-flier miles so I can start taking some fun trips. We'll see if I can go somewhere exciting and/or exotic.

The next fun thing is that my company is putting together a corporate gym membership with a new gym that was built close to my home. I didn't even know it was there, but a co-worker and I went for a tour last week, and it looks perfect for what I need. They offer yoga and other classes, and they have personal showers--privacy, yes! It will be great for me since I haven't been exercising much (cough!) um, at all, lately, and I definitely need to lose these extra pounds I've been lugging around.

I even went shopping for new running shoes today, I'm so excited. But my plan to actually get myself to the gym frequently, since there is a big laziness factor in my life (the path of least resistance, usually) I plan to have my workout stuff in my car and stop at the gym on my way home from work. That way I can get sweaty and gross, then shower when I get home. Plus, that way I won't go home first because we all know that once my butt hits the couch, it probably won't move the rest of the night.

So the moral of this story is that, yes, Virginia, it is possible to make New Year's resolutions and keep them. (Check back with me in a few months and we'll see if that's really true.)

Disappearing act

Um. . . I didn't realize it had been so long since my last post. Bad girl! I promise to be better, I swear. The holidays and all the rush and bustle kept me a little more occupied than I realized. Most of my free time was spent making presents for my friends and co-workers. Make, yes, I did say that. I started in September making scarves for a whole load of people, and when I realized Christmas was more than on it's way, it quickly became crunch time. So I sat with my knitting and watched a whole lot of movies. (Which, incidentally, involved me buying more movies than I should have, but I'm adding to my collection for all to enjoy, or at least that's what I tell myself.)

Now that the holiday season is (almost) behind us, I should be back to my normal slacker activities of blogging and reading, with a cursory movie thrown in every once in a while. Yes, my life is pathetic. I freely admit it. But at least I enjoy myself, which is more than a lot of people can say.

I am planning to be social, however. Sometime in January I want to host a game night in my little townhouse. (Hey, at least I'm pretending to be social.) Invites will be coming soon, but I may have to limit the list since I can only squish in a dozen or so people into the living room. Well, depending on how many show, it could be a great way to get . . . er, closer . . . to some of my friends.

And with that I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and fantabulous New Year!

White vs. Wheat

I've always been a white bread kind of girl. I just can't help it. Wheat is better for me, I know that. It has more nutrients. Multi-grain is even better. But do I want that? No!

There's something so deliciously sweet about eating a thick slice of white bread slathered with honey. Or maybe plain with a bit of butter for a salty snack. Then there's raspberry jam, seedless, of course, and homemade if possible. I even enjoy a piece of toast slathered with Nutella on my chocolate days and lemon curd for those citrusy moments.

You can't do that with wheat bread. It just isn't the same. And making a classic grilled cheese sandwich with 12-grain bread? Forget it. It loses something in the translation.

The problem comes when I'm at the grocery store standing in aisle two, looking at the vast array of yeasty choices. Traditional white? Homestyle potato? How about seven-grain filled with flax and sunflower seeds?

I should (my hand reaches for the wholesome wheat), but I really want (I drift toward the thick white bread a grandmother supposedly made) though my body will thank me later (I dither again) IF it can get past the craving for the homey goodness of white.

Ahh!!! Stop the madness! I grab the white and head for the cereal aisle. My self-indulgent side wins the day, but two weeks later it's back again to that same tug of war.

I've come up with a compromise of sorts. One week it's wheat when I'm health conscious and the next it's time for my guilty pleasure. Sometimes I even splurge and buy myself a loaf of fresh-baked artisan bread (French or Italian). Mmmm...

I'm not sure what all this says about me. Maybe I take pleasure in simple things--I'd rather my life be uncomplicated. It could mean that I know what's best for me and then give in to my selfish wants. It's really a battle of should versus want. I know what I should do, but I don't always do it.

Or maybe I'm overanalyzing all of this. Choosing bread should be easy, right? Yes, if you're not an OCD-driven maniac. (Not all the time, I promise. Just when it comes to bread. And a few other things, but we're not discussing that right now.)

The conclusion of all this? I have no idea. All I know is that I'm really hungry now. Toast sounds like a great idea. But should I have jam? No, too sugary. Peanut butter? Not if I'll have peanut butter breath. Butter would be nice. But think of all that fat. Argh! Not again!

TT 18 Books I recommend

After reading several lists that independent bookstores have compiled of their favorite books to recommend, I've decided to come up with my own list. (And, by the way, if I ever did start a business, it'd be a bookstore that also sells stationery. All my favorite things in one room.) So here, in no particular order, are thirteen books I'd recommend. Some are classic, some may be new, but all are good reads.

1.... I Capture the Castle, by Dodie Smith. I fell in love with this story of a young girl who lives with her family in an ancient castle. The storytelling is incredible, and the language is vivid and real. I can imagine a teenage girl thinking and writing these things--there may even be some things I would have written in my own journal.

2.... The Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis. These books are much more than simple children's stories. There is a moral to them that speaks to me. Plus the Pevensy children's adventures are delightful simply as good stories.

3.... Mansfield Park, by Jane Austen. One of her lesser known books, but also one of the best. Meek Fanny Price is the epitome of patience earning the sweetest reward. And anything by Jane Austen is bound to have great romance.

4.... The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho. When people ask about my favorite book, I usually tell them this one. It is an amazing story of learning to find oneself. Short, but very sweet.

5.... The Five People You Meet in Heaven, by Mitch Albom. This book made me cry, it was so touching and powerful. This is a wonderful book to read, and then ponder who you would meet in heaven, or whose lives you've touched.

6.... The Winter's Tale, by William Shakespeare. Though I have yet to read it, seeing a performance of this incredible play in London showed me the true genius of Shakespeare. It also has one of the best endings of any book in literature.

7.... The Little Prince, by Antoine Saint-Exupery. The beautiful simplicity of this tale breaks my heart every time I read it. There is so much truth to the observances of the little prince. If only adults read this book more often.

8.... Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis. A beautiful and stirring treatise on what Christians believe and why. There is a power to his simple, yet profound, explanations.

9.... Chronicles of Prydain, by Lloyd Alexander. I love these books, but most especially book 4, Taran the Wanderer. His search to find who he truly is resounds with me.

10.... The Goose Girl, by Shannon Hale. You've got to love a fairy tale, especially one that is well told. Based on the Grimm story of a princess who must hide in the guise of a goose girl, there's a lot to love in this tale.

11.... The Diaries of Adam and Eve, translated by Mark Twain. Though very short, these two "diaries" are incredibly funny and touching. And through his usual biting wit, Twain shows us how different things seem from a man (or woman's) perspective.

12.... Harry Potter series, by J.K. Rowling. It goes without saying that these books are embedded in the American--and worldwide--conscious, but I still know people who have yet to read these fantastic books. Never fear! It is not too late to read the books. (And I promise, books are always better than the movies based upon them.)

13.... As a Man Thinketh, by James Allen. I turn to this book time and again whenever I am feeling low. His treatise on filling our minds with pure, virtuous, and positive thoughts is amazing. It makes me want to be a better person every time I read it.

Okay, I'm having a hard time stopping at thirteen, so I thought I'd throw in a bonus book.

Bonus: Captivating, by John and Staci Eldredge. This book got me through a rough time in my life. For any woman who's ever been wounded in her life (come on, admit it, we've all been wounded at one time or another), this book can lead toward healing. And any man who wants to understand women and their scars better, this is the perfect help.

Talent or determination? It may be both

What does it take to write a story the world over loves? How do those incredible writers craft their words in such a way that people have to stop and catch their breath because what they read was so powerful and so beautiful?

I was just reading through several lists of recommended reading. The topics varied by the bookstore recommending them, but I started to recognize some of the same titles that continuously earn a place on the best-loved-books lists. Memoirs of a Geisha, Snow Falling on Cedars, Angela's Ashes, Beloved. What is it about these stories, and the writers who tell them, that captivates people? What do they know about putting words together that others try to imitate but can never seem to capture?

A great deal of it is inborn, I think, something that comes naturally to some while others have to work very hard but never quite make it. Not that I don't think it can be learned, to some extent, but the most talented writers are just that: talented. It's not something they can necessarily create within themselves. No amount of writing classes or books will turn a poor writer into a great one. Mediocre, maybe, but extraordinary, unlikely.

That leads me to wonder about myself: Do I have what it takes to be a great writer? I hope so, and I think I might. For me the question isn't if I have the talent for it, but if I have the perseverance to stick it out when the story isn't flowing the way I think it should or the words on the page don't all feel inspired. Greatness is something I'll have to work at, if I can ever get there.

Maybe the key lies somewhere in there. Most talented people don't just sit down and have the book pour itself onto the page from their frantic fingertips--at least not most of the time. They still have to work at it; they still have writer's block and uninspired days. What truly brings about greatness, then, is the persistence to work through the hard times while developing those God-given talents that lie dormant within.

I promise this essay isn't about my vanity; more, it's a search within myself to figure out if my determination to be great, combined with natural talent, is enough for me to achieve the greatness I desire. Will people one day add my own works to their bookstore's greatest-books list? Who knows. But I'll never find out if I don't try.

TT 17 Things I'm grateful for

In honor of Thanksgiving Day, I'd like to think of 13 things that I am grateful for. This list could be so much longer, but I'll spare you and keep it short. In no particular order . . .

1…. Moments of peace. I cherish the times when I can be by myself. It is such a comfort to me

2…. Books. My life would be empty without them. Not just because I work as a book editor, but the knowledge and joy I take from reading would be severely missed.

3…. Ability to learn. I have the opportunity and capacity to learn every day. I hope I never tire of learning new things.

4…. My family. Though they often drive me crazy, I still love them and am grateful for them in my life.

5…. Good friends, and all the things I've learned from them. There are countless individuals in this list who've touched my life in some way. I wouldn't be who I am without their love and support.

6…. Places I've traveled and experiences I've had while doing so. I can't begin to describe the wonders I've seen and people I've met while traveling far from home. All of those memories are with me still.

7…. My education and the opportunities it's afforded me. I have a good job and knowledge of the world around me because of the years I spent in school. It was well worth the all-nighters and tests and papers.

8…. Working and the independence it grants me. I can pay all my bills and live in a manner I chose. I love that I don't have to depend on anyone for support. It makes me feel so liberated.

9…. Religion. Without my religion and my god I would be nothing. It gives me power to keep moving even when the world comes crashing down upon me.

10…. A desire for self-improvement. I am truly grateful that I've never been content to be the same imperfect person I am. I keep pushing myself to learn more and grow better each day I'm alive.

11…. Basic needs that are more than taken care of: food, clothing, home. So many people struggle just to find a place to sleep and food to eat. I have more than I need, and often waste more than I should. I need to be more grateful for all that I do have.

12…. Love in my life and the love I'm learning to have for others. I have been blessed to know many amazing people, and even more blessed to have known their love. But I am also blessed to learn how to love others and share that love with them.

13…. Innate freedoms I have in America. I can think, speak, and act how I will without government influence. That is a right many have been denied, and I am truly grateful for it.

There are so many others that I can't begin to list here. I do, however, have a gratitude journal that I pull out from time to time. It helps me, especially when I'm down, to remember all the good that is in my life. May we all remember a little bit better all the beauty around us.

Just say no

I'm so bad. I keep spending money when I know I shouldn't. This weekend it was books, and then later I bought a whole bunch of lotions and face wash and things. Then today I had to buy another pair of really cute (and comfy) pajama pants. That was followed by a whole bunch of crafting stuff so I can make my apartment cute for winter.

My problem is that I have no self-control. I really don't. When I want something, I usually just go buy it. If it's a bigger, more expensive item, I'm generally pretty good about figuring out how much it'll cost me and then figuring out how to pay for it. But as in the case with my car, I spent money when I didn't need to, or at least spent more than I should have.

Often I can hold off on spending money, but if you get me into a store and in a spending mood, I can justify just about anything. I'm a bargain shopper, so I almost always get a really good deal on what I buy, but I need to keep myself away from the stores. That might not work so well with Christmas coming up, but I need to keep myself in check.

I'm the same with my eating habits. I'll be good for awhile and eat healthy, but then I see those sweets just sitting there at work asking me to eat them. How can I say no? That is exactly my point, though. I need to stop justifying everything and learn to say no when I know it's in my best interest. Especially with all the holiday treats that will soon start appearing everywhere I turn.

I need to make a goal to spend less money and eat less junk and more healthful foods. I can do this, I swear I can, but it's going to take some will power. I just hope I can remember where I put that.