I've been meaning to do this for a while but hadn't quite got around to it: I've finally posted the revised first chapter for my novel-in-progress Surviving Eden. Please take a moment to look it over and offer helpful remarks or criticism.
If you haven't taken the time to read it, I think you'll find it enjoyable. I've only got about five or six chapters posted at the moment, so it isn't very long. I hope you like it.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Quote of the day
Kate: I wish there was a cookbook for life, with recipes telling you exactly what to do.
Therapist: You know better than anyone. It's the recipes you create yourself that are the best.
—No Reservations
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Is it a fancy or a feeling?
I thought I knew what love was, once upon a time. I felt it burn within me, and was glad for the exhilaration. But then I never realized my heart could get broken so severely and so fast, either. Since then, I've had to rethink my idea of what love really is, end even if I've ever really loved.
With all this talk of Valentine's Day—diamonds, chocolates, roses, and countless other gifts that supposedly mean you are loved—I wonder sometimes if I haven't bought into the common perception of love. When a man loves you, the story goes, he will do anything for you. You are his sun, his moon, his stars. Never mind that he has a life that goes on without you and you are only a part of the great whole. No, he must drop everything to be at your side, shower you with presents, and constantly whisper sweet nothings in you ear, or he does not really love you.
Have I experienced this kind of love? No, not by a long shot. Will I ever? Maybe. But do I really want it? I can't say that I do.
I want someone who loves me for who I am—flaws, imperfections, quirks, and all. I want someone who is willing to tell me when I'm being a fool but love me all the same. I want a relationship that can stand up to burnt dinners, foolish mistakes, and protracted silences. I want someone as imperfect as me, but who wants to be better because I want to be better.
Love isn't a perfect thing or idea or feeling. It changes, it grows. It waxes and wanes. But most of all, it fits the characters and passions of those who possess it.
I have to remind myself that, though I long for a storybook romance, it's not likely to ever happen because it wouldn't be me. And it probably wouldn't be the man I fall in love with either. Love at first sight isn't my style. I just don't have it in me to be sappy sweet lovey dovey all the time. I would end up disgusted with myself more likely than not.
What I need is a best friend. A companion. A confidant and lover. He needs to cheer with me when I'm up but there to carry me when I'm down. I need someone who will sit with me as I read and won't mind that I constantly interrupt his own reading with a funny tidbit or philosophical commentary from my book. I need someone who is continually learning, but who, more importantly, appreciates my own passions.
All my foibles with love have taught me that love isn't a one-size-fits-all deal you can pick up at the nearest Wal-Mart. It is individualized, it grows, it changes with the people we are and will become.
I wouldn't want the juvenile adoration Romeo and Juliet clung to till the bitter end, nor would I want the bond-breaking passion or Lancelot and Guinevere. I need the love that fits me. I'm realizing now that I might not figure out which type of love I need until I find the person who completes it—and me.
Until then, I keep loving: myself, my friends, my family, and all those I meet. It's good practice for the love that I'm hoping will eventually come.
With all this talk of Valentine's Day—diamonds, chocolates, roses, and countless other gifts that supposedly mean you are loved—I wonder sometimes if I haven't bought into the common perception of love. When a man loves you, the story goes, he will do anything for you. You are his sun, his moon, his stars. Never mind that he has a life that goes on without you and you are only a part of the great whole. No, he must drop everything to be at your side, shower you with presents, and constantly whisper sweet nothings in you ear, or he does not really love you.
Have I experienced this kind of love? No, not by a long shot. Will I ever? Maybe. But do I really want it? I can't say that I do.
I want someone who loves me for who I am—flaws, imperfections, quirks, and all. I want someone who is willing to tell me when I'm being a fool but love me all the same. I want a relationship that can stand up to burnt dinners, foolish mistakes, and protracted silences. I want someone as imperfect as me, but who wants to be better because I want to be better.
Love isn't a perfect thing or idea or feeling. It changes, it grows. It waxes and wanes. But most of all, it fits the characters and passions of those who possess it.
I have to remind myself that, though I long for a storybook romance, it's not likely to ever happen because it wouldn't be me. And it probably wouldn't be the man I fall in love with either. Love at first sight isn't my style. I just don't have it in me to be sappy sweet lovey dovey all the time. I would end up disgusted with myself more likely than not.
What I need is a best friend. A companion. A confidant and lover. He needs to cheer with me when I'm up but there to carry me when I'm down. I need someone who will sit with me as I read and won't mind that I constantly interrupt his own reading with a funny tidbit or philosophical commentary from my book. I need someone who is continually learning, but who, more importantly, appreciates my own passions.
All my foibles with love have taught me that love isn't a one-size-fits-all deal you can pick up at the nearest Wal-Mart. It is individualized, it grows, it changes with the people we are and will become.
I wouldn't want the juvenile adoration Romeo and Juliet clung to till the bitter end, nor would I want the bond-breaking passion or Lancelot and Guinevere. I need the love that fits me. I'm realizing now that I might not figure out which type of love I need until I find the person who completes it—and me.
Until then, I keep loving: myself, my friends, my family, and all those I meet. It's good practice for the love that I'm hoping will eventually come.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I could be a Beauty
In an effort to put some excitement into my life, I've decided to audition for the musical my city puts on every summer. I couldn't have been more excited when I heard what musical they were doing: Beauty and the Beast.
Now, I may be an unknown, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't choose me, so I'd like to elaborate on all the reasons why I should be Belle (ahem, pay attention if you're on the casting committee):
1. Belle is my favorite Disney heroine because she has a mind of her own.
2. I have brownish hair, which I am also willing to grow out and dye.
3. I already have most of the songs and scenes memorized.
4. I'm not ugly (though there are probably other much prettier girls aiming for this part).
5. Reading is my passion, and I most assuredly "have [my] nose stuck in a book."
6. My singing voice compares very well with Belle's, and I'm definitely in the same vocal range.
7. I've got attitude (to spare, some might say).
8. I dream of adventure.
9. Just because I should.
Now, though these are great reasons, I do have to contend with the fact that I haven't auditioned for anything since high school, which was, oh, about 10 years ago. I still sing frequently, but my acting skills are a touch rusty, you might say.
Even if I don't get the lead, though, it might be fun dressing up like a fork or a chair and dancing around without injuring myself or others. Plus it'll be something to keep myself busy—very busy, I should say—for three months during the spring/early summer.
Wish me luck!
Now, I may be an unknown, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't choose me, so I'd like to elaborate on all the reasons why I should be Belle (ahem, pay attention if you're on the casting committee):
1. Belle is my favorite Disney heroine because she has a mind of her own.
2. I have brownish hair, which I am also willing to grow out and dye.
3. I already have most of the songs and scenes memorized.
4. I'm not ugly (though there are probably other much prettier girls aiming for this part).
5. Reading is my passion, and I most assuredly "have [my] nose stuck in a book."
6. My singing voice compares very well with Belle's, and I'm definitely in the same vocal range.
7. I've got attitude (to spare, some might say).
8. I dream of adventure.
9. Just because I should.
Now, though these are great reasons, I do have to contend with the fact that I haven't auditioned for anything since high school, which was, oh, about 10 years ago. I still sing frequently, but my acting skills are a touch rusty, you might say.
Even if I don't get the lead, though, it might be fun dressing up like a fork or a chair and dancing around without injuring myself or others. Plus it'll be something to keep myself busy—very busy, I should say—for three months during the spring/early summer.
Wish me luck!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
News, news
Ah, Valentine's Day. It's the one holiday I've never really celebrated, i.e. I've never had a valentine before. Sad, I know, but that's life.
However, I did have a pleasant day. We had a little potluck buffet at work, and boy, did I eat way too much. It all tasted wonderful, so I'm not terribly upset. Honestly, Valentine's isn't Valentine's without conversation hearts and sugar cookies overburdened by frosting. Mmmm . . .
I will say that I am trying to be much better with my eating habits. I've also started going to the gym, oh, just about every day. Well, five days a week, but who's counting. I am, actually. I'd rather the number were six, but I don't think my body can take it at the moment. I haven't, well really, ever, exercised this frequently in my life (so very sad, I know). Here's to hoping it sticks, or rather, that I stick with it.
Eating healthier is also a priority, but today is an exception rather than the rule. I'm allowing myself a free day a week so I don't go crazy with being good. (And that only applies to food.) So today was definitely my day for being bad, but oh, it felt so good.
In other news. . . I honestly can't remember the last time I posted, so forgive me if I repeat myself, but I've had a lot of fun and exciting things happen this year. Back in January a friend and I went up to Park City for Sundance again, and this year we actually saw a movie. But not just any showing. We went to the world premiere of Diminished Capacity, Matthew Broderick and Alan Alda's new movie. (I saw that to make myself feel special. Like I'll ever go to a movie premiere again in my life.) It was really fun, though, because all the stars were there, as well as Sarah Jessica Parker, who I kept getting confused with someone else. Don't ask me how. I took pics, but everyone turned out the size of pin pricks, so I can't imagine you'd want to see those. In all, it was plenty fun but very much on the cold side.
And my latest and greatest news? I got a Mac! An iMac, to be specific, and I'm completely loving it. It's refurbished, so it's not the newest model, but I love it all the same. I just finished watching a movie on it, and the quality is incredible. I'm so used to watching films on my old computer, which didn't even come close, dinosaur that it was. (No, I don't have a t.v., and I can't say I miss much since I watch flicks on my computer.)
It is also blessedly fast and easy to use. Honestly, I don't know how PC users do it anymore, not with Macs available. Convert, I tell you! You'll be glad you did.
So that's about it from me. I'm hoping now that I have a wonderful, fast, beautiful computer that I'll be back to blogging much more frequently. I hate shutting it off every night, it's so perfect. Sad that I've fallen in love with a computer, but with no man in my life, I've got to fill it with something, right? At least my Mac will do everything I tell it to and won't talk back. I wonder if Apple makes men? I'd get me one of those.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
New year, new me (I hope)
Ah, life keeps moving even when I'd like it to slow down a bit so I can catch up. There's nothing big that's happened lately, just plenty of little things that have fallen into place or should very soon.
The holidays were good, mainly because I spent time with my family and there wasn't any of the stereotypical family fights that Hollywood loves to lambaste. Nothing extraordinary, but that in itself was probably a good thing.
I'm excited about a couple of things, though, especially with this being a new year and time for renewed efforts. The first is that I decided to sign up for one of those credit cards that accrue frequent-flier miles so I can start taking some fun trips. We'll see if I can go somewhere exciting and/or exotic.
The next fun thing is that my company is putting together a corporate gym membership with a new gym that was built close to my home. I didn't even know it was there, but a co-worker and I went for a tour last week, and it looks perfect for what I need. They offer yoga and other classes, and they have personal showers--privacy, yes! It will be great for me since I haven't been exercising much (cough!) um, at all, lately, and I definitely need to lose these extra pounds I've been lugging around.
I even went shopping for new running shoes today, I'm so excited. But my plan to actually get myself to the gym frequently, since there is a big laziness factor in my life (the path of least resistance, usually) I plan to have my workout stuff in my car and stop at the gym on my way home from work. That way I can get sweaty and gross, then shower when I get home. Plus, that way I won't go home first because we all know that once my butt hits the couch, it probably won't move the rest of the night.
So the moral of this story is that, yes, Virginia, it is possible to make New Year's resolutions and keep them. (Check back with me in a few months and we'll see if that's really true.)
The holidays were good, mainly because I spent time with my family and there wasn't any of the stereotypical family fights that Hollywood loves to lambaste. Nothing extraordinary, but that in itself was probably a good thing.
I'm excited about a couple of things, though, especially with this being a new year and time for renewed efforts. The first is that I decided to sign up for one of those credit cards that accrue frequent-flier miles so I can start taking some fun trips. We'll see if I can go somewhere exciting and/or exotic.
The next fun thing is that my company is putting together a corporate gym membership with a new gym that was built close to my home. I didn't even know it was there, but a co-worker and I went for a tour last week, and it looks perfect for what I need. They offer yoga and other classes, and they have personal showers--privacy, yes! It will be great for me since I haven't been exercising much (cough!) um, at all, lately, and I definitely need to lose these extra pounds I've been lugging around.
I even went shopping for new running shoes today, I'm so excited. But my plan to actually get myself to the gym frequently, since there is a big laziness factor in my life (the path of least resistance, usually) I plan to have my workout stuff in my car and stop at the gym on my way home from work. That way I can get sweaty and gross, then shower when I get home. Plus, that way I won't go home first because we all know that once my butt hits the couch, it probably won't move the rest of the night.
So the moral of this story is that, yes, Virginia, it is possible to make New Year's resolutions and keep them. (Check back with me in a few months and we'll see if that's really true.)
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Disappearing act
Um. . . I didn't realize it had been so long since my last post. Bad girl! I promise to be better, I swear. The holidays and all the rush and bustle kept me a little more occupied than I realized. Most of my free time was spent making presents for my friends and co-workers. Make, yes, I did say that. I started in September making scarves for a whole load of people, and when I realized Christmas was more than on it's way, it quickly became crunch time. So I sat with my knitting and watched a whole lot of movies. (Which, incidentally, involved me buying more movies than I should have, but I'm adding to my collection for all to enjoy, or at least that's what I tell myself.)
Now that the holiday season is (almost) behind us, I should be back to my normal slacker activities of blogging and reading, with a cursory movie thrown in every once in a while. Yes, my life is pathetic. I freely admit it. But at least I enjoy myself, which is more than a lot of people can say.
I am planning to be social, however. Sometime in January I want to host a game night in my little townhouse. (Hey, at least I'm pretending to be social.) Invites will be coming soon, but I may have to limit the list since I can only squish in a dozen or so people into the living room. Well, depending on how many show, it could be a great way to get . . . er, closer . . . to some of my friends.
And with that I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and fantabulous New Year!
Now that the holiday season is (almost) behind us, I should be back to my normal slacker activities of blogging and reading, with a cursory movie thrown in every once in a while. Yes, my life is pathetic. I freely admit it. But at least I enjoy myself, which is more than a lot of people can say.
I am planning to be social, however. Sometime in January I want to host a game night in my little townhouse. (Hey, at least I'm pretending to be social.) Invites will be coming soon, but I may have to limit the list since I can only squish in a dozen or so people into the living room. Well, depending on how many show, it could be a great way to get . . . er, closer . . . to some of my friends.
And with that I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and fantabulous New Year!
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